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October 7, 2008 at 12:00 AM
nice!
schedule
October 7, 2008 at 12:00 AM
oh my god, you're just going to leave me hanging like this???!!! evil, evil. im DYING to know what happens next!!!!
please add me to your email update list: pwfan626@aol.com
read ya later!
please add me to your email update list: pwfan626@aol.com
read ya later!
schedule
August 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hey nice story, just wish i could figure out why dragon, and harry are already saying Love...
~Eros
~Eros
schedule
August 16, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I can't say much about the story, but perhaps a bit of con-crit would work? =)
Firstly, the story's rushed, you're bunching up craploads of ideas and such together. Plan it out, take your time writing it, it'd make it much easier to read.
You have a few grammar mistakes here and there, mostly simple things, I'd suggest using a spell/grammar checker before posting.
The plot and characters are completely random. Their personality varies slightly each chapter, and so much of is is unrealistic. Not killing him because coming of age was an important day? Voldemort would do anything to kill him, why should birthdays matter? I highly doubt that Lily Evans, somehow the daughter of the dark lord, could be powerful enough to put a memory charm of the greatest wizard of all time. Harry calling Snape "dad" after just reading that letter's just bizarre (note the random personality changes), continuing to call him Sev, being closer to him, and slowly working up to it would make more sense.
Hope you don't take this too badly.
-Tsuki
Firstly, the story's rushed, you're bunching up craploads of ideas and such together. Plan it out, take your time writing it, it'd make it much easier to read.
You have a few grammar mistakes here and there, mostly simple things, I'd suggest using a spell/grammar checker before posting.
The plot and characters are completely random. Their personality varies slightly each chapter, and so much of is is unrealistic. Not killing him because coming of age was an important day? Voldemort would do anything to kill him, why should birthdays matter? I highly doubt that Lily Evans, somehow the daughter of the dark lord, could be powerful enough to put a memory charm of the greatest wizard of all time. Harry calling Snape "dad" after just reading that letter's just bizarre (note the random personality changes), continuing to call him Sev, being closer to him, and slowly working up to it would make more sense.
Hope you don't take this too badly.
-Tsuki
schedule
July 28, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Good chapter!
schedule
July 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
NOOOOOOOOO!!!! I so getting into the story and then . . . (quietly sobbing) you're MEAN!! Well, sniffling aside, you can see I was enjoying your story very much. I can't wait to see Tom's reaction, Harry is going to tell him, right?
schedule
July 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Sorry, I haven't reviewed in a while, but I'm quite busy and had no internet for a while and had just found time to finally catch up with the story. And I must say, wow you're really putting a lot of twists in it. first Sev being Harry's father, now Voldy being his gran. Next time you're telling us Draco's a veela, lol.
I seriously like Severitus, but don't you think they both accepted it a bit too easily (like the rest of the gang)? I know, Sev was under a spell ad all, but if you think about yourself, wouldn't it come as a shock if you'd all of a sudden have a son or become a mother?
Well, just my opinion... oh and don't forget the hot, steamy Drarry sessions!!!
I seriously like Severitus, but don't you think they both accepted it a bit too easily (like the rest of the gang)? I know, Sev was under a spell ad all, but if you think about yourself, wouldn't it come as a shock if you'd all of a sudden have a son or become a mother?
Well, just my opinion... oh and don't forget the hot, steamy Drarry sessions!!!
schedule
July 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
schedule
July 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Am reading that story, glad to see where that bit comes from. Wonderful surprise, didnt see it coming at ALL.
I love this story....please keep the chappies coming, i'll provide the cookies....and assist with the roasting of marshmellows, should there be ANY idiotic flamers.....at this late stage in the chapter numbers...
~Sophie Max-Anderson
I love this story....please keep the chappies coming, i'll provide the cookies....and assist with the roasting of marshmellows, should there be ANY idiotic flamers.....at this late stage in the chapter numbers...
~Sophie Max-Anderson
schedule
July 27, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Sooo need chapter 15! Wonder if Voldemort would have killed Lily if he had of known.....