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for Pretty to pretend

by bodanger

schedule December 2, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I need more!! Can't wait for the next chapter.
person SensualDesire
schedule November 23, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Um well, I think the plot is great and you've done a better job than some other authors with this plot. First I thought you pushed it when you changed Hermione's appearance. I know i WAS ready to press the back button when I heard about her reddish hair and green eyes. She had brown hair and brown curly/bushy hair. You could spice up the eyes with cinnamon or amber but not green. Second Blaise is black in the book, and he will be black in the movie I seriously doubt he had green eyes and dirty blond hair. His last name is Zabini not Zambini.Other than that the only thing that was off was some of your spelling and your capitalization. Other than that you did good. If you need help email me or find yourself a beta. If you already have one you should probably get one specializing in Harry Potter fanfiction. And I don't mean to sound like an ass this is NOT A FLAMER!
schedule November 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
love this chapter please update soon
schedule November 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I love this story please update soon
person kitty08
schedule October 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
wow cool!! do you plan for Voldemort to have a relationship with Hermione? Will she be just his tool or something more? I dont expect any love but maybe Voldemort will want her for himself? and poor Blaise he is really in love but i have the feeling he wont get any chance to get hermione...
person sinkore
schedule September 24, 2008 at 12:00 AM
am i detecting a mother daughter reunion. wonder how that will go.
person Carmen
schedule September 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
K.

This is a really good story. What would make it better is if you got a beta reader. There are a lot grammatical, spelling and canon errors that really detract from the story. You have a good grasp of your plot and story flow, but the mistakes make me cringe.

This is not a personal attack, so please don't take it as such, but I really do think your writing will improve if you have someone (preferably someone who already betas)look over your work and explain what needs to change and why, before you post it.

Good luck.
person amyfeddy
schedule September 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Don't make us wait too long for an update.
schedule September 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Another great chapter! OMG I just can't wait to read more!
schedule September 7, 2008 at 12:00 AM
wow that was awsome .. please please update soon .. later for now

angel