rate_review Reviews

Maybe cliche wasn't the right word to use. I can't remember seeing it done before, but if it's not cliche, I can't think of a better word for it. And that was a good way of addressing the questions about the spell. Just the perfect thing for a lawyer to bring up. Periods are easy things to miss. They're just so tiny. I hope you don't mind the grammar points because I have three more. The first two are pretty easy. If you want to capitalize titles like Cadidate, Elder, Minister, Wizard, you need to do it consistantly. I suppose you could choose not to capitalize them, but I would. Second on the list would be in dialogue where one person says another's name. You do it fairly often, but every time, the names need to be set up with commas. Doesn't matter if it's the begining, middle or end of a sentence. I saved the hardest to explain or learn for the last. The best way I can think to explain it is when you have part of sentence that... isn't really part of the sentence, you set it off with a comma.

I've got examples from your own stuff. Maybe that'll make sense. "Nodding[,] Sirius and Draco followed him out into the hall and towards the few empty teachers quarters in the dungeons." "Rolling out of the bed[,] Harry hurried over to the cherry wood crib in the corner and picked the screaming Dante up. Gently jouncing Dante[,] Harry moved over to the changing table and set him down on it."

You like to use them a lot so I thought it was something you'd be interested in learning. I hope you don't mind. I just like seeing good writing look even better.

Oh, I almost forgot, the part where Voldemort was listing off the reasons he couldn't have put Fudge under a spell, don't make that a bulleted paragraph. I can re-write it for you if you like, but you really shouldn't have it bulleted or set off the numbering with colons. Again, I'm just being annoying and picky.

Let's move on to the fun stuff! I love the argument with Arthur. He sounds like such a jerk and I just love how it's stuck to him for being a greedy wanker. I'm also liking the Auror who escorted them to the trial and back. He seems like a good guy and he could be valuable to them later. You also do a great job of not losing Dante. It may seem like a stupid thing to say, but I've seen authors who forget things like who's holding the baby and have the character do something that would be impossible with a baby in hand.

I don't have a lot of experience with newborns or new mothers, but in the few cases I know of, the mothers usually end up going through a little period of depression and worry way too much over the baby. My cousin was certainly nuts after her first kid. Just thought I'd throw that out there if you wanted to add it to the story.

Umm... one last thing. I love how sweet Charlemaigne is with Dante. It's just cute. I'd have him say something like, "Any creature who isn't from the same region, or even country, will feel..." rather than the state thing. Not a lot of countries have states. I have no idea about Russia though.

And now's the part where I shamelessly beg for another chapter and more Charlemaigne fun. He just seems like a fun character so I want to see more of him. Oh! And Sirius Draco fun! I want to see that bit. So please please please!

I really like this story and the way its turning out. I know you said that this story was almost over but could you send me an email at erinthacker@comcast.net to let me know when you update. Thank you very much for doing so. I'm off to go and check out your other stories.

Awww. Loved it

Thanks for the new chapters. I've been too busy in real life to read the story lately. I look forward to more though.

Yay! another happy great chappie!

Looking forward to read the next ^^

Thank You!
When I read the prequel to 'Fulfilling a Destiny'...
I couldn't wait for it to come out!
I still can't
lol
=]

Are you going to be making a sequel to this story?
Perhaps after 'Fulfilling a Destiny'?
Or are you going right into the Harry/Fenrir story?

Either way I know I'll read it.

Do you know any other good Harry/Voldemort are mates stories?
I've been looking but I can't find any.

Well...
PLEASE
PLEASE
PLEASE
update soon!
=]=]

Yes, I know, I have two and the one that's one years old will not sit for anything.

This was a great chapter and I can not wait for the rest of it.
Fudge got what he deserve.

YAY! Keep it up! I can tell this story is almost over but I am so happy about what is done!

I love it!! this story was cute!

Brilliant chapter. Is that the last one or is there more?