AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Beyond Charms

by Evania

schedule February 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
So what did Lillyth say to Jethkai? Thats just mean keeping a good threat from us.

Great Update.

What do you mean by liquid tongue, im confused, never heard that description before?
person todraw13
schedule February 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
thanks for the update, i love the story so far. and i love your character lillyth.
schedule January 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Quite an interesting 'little' story. Hope it becomes a 'big' story.

Well written in general, but you have some problems with extra words left in your sentences.
Also, in the first story chapter you used 'watched on' several times. I believe 'watched' or 'looked on' would be more appropriate.

Looking forward to more updates.
person 10sCP
schedule January 5, 2008 at 12:00 AM
anytime man. although, you wont see any stories from me. i cant write anything worthwhile unless someoe else is writing what i say. still, great stoy
person 10sCP
schedule January 2, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Great!
Don't stop writing it,please.