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February 10, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Oh I'm the first review I think :D ok well I like the entry into this character so far but one thing you might wish to do is to make the paragraphs smaller... not with less in them but every time someone speaks hit enter and make it have a line of its own... it just makes the story less intimidating... also take your time in writing your thoughts, describe and show us your story. hope this helps :)