rate_review Reviews

lol you could totally tell that was RP'd.... almost every sentence started with Severus or Remus xD kinda like msn

Severus Says:

Remus Says:

Severus Says:

lol it was good though... you need to work a bit more on making it sound more like a fic than an RP though.... unless you purposly went for the RP style then...

I really liked the story line, (and it was hot!) but it may be a good idea to revise the writing style. I know it was a messenger conversation, initially, but it's kind of hard to follow with the tense changing (Severus pushES, then Severus pushED, and back and forth), as well as every sentence starting with either "remus" or "Severus". I think if you revised it and made it more into a regular fic format this story would be awesome! Good job

hahah nice fic
mwhahah possessive Remus!