schedule
September 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Definitely build up their story. Remember...Draco is an asshole, it's really hard to believe, and rather cheesy when he's all kissy kissy. It could be a really good story...but it's not there yet. Keep working on it.
schedule
September 21, 2007 at 12:00 AM
No suspense..who is Ana? Why should we care...you need to expand on that and then give us a reason to care about this couple. the sex scene is kinda abrupt and outta nowhere with no passion or build up. Keep trying though.