AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for The Greatest Gift

by Sweetie

schedule September 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Excellent.
schedule September 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I just wish these two would talk about their fears and get on with making each other happy. Severus thinks he is doing what is best for Hermione but is truly hurtin himself and her.
schedule September 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I like it. Please update soon.
schedule August 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I like it. Please update soon.
schedule August 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I liked this chapter. I can't wait to read more.
person wicraven
schedule August 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Great post, love the story, can't wait until you post again, so please post again soon. Thanks.
person Jen618
schedule August 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Just a suggestion, in writing you normally begin a new paragraph each time someone else speaks. It makes it much easier to understand. If you look at the way experienced writers do it you'll see what I mean. As an example, you could change your para to look something like this.
~~~~

Hermione made her way to Gryffindor table and found her seat in between Harry and Ron.
person MacBeth
schedule August 29, 2007 at 12:00 AM
This sounds really good. I hope you continue it.
schedule August 29, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I like it. Please update soon.
schedule August 29, 2007 at 12:00 AM
It's cute and sweet and well worth going on with.