schedule
March 28, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Umm I just got done reading chapter 4 and I'm not sure if the problem is that you never re-read your own work, if English is your second language, or whatever, but I would suggest getting a beta. There are several grammatical errors as well as the fact that you use text speak an awful lot in your story (i.e. "u" in place of the word "you") Just an observation, I think that if you got a beta reader (someone to proof read your work for any mistakes) the final product would be much better and the 4+ rating may increase to a 5+.
schedule
April 20, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Wow...that's all I can really say except for more please...
schedule
November 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Sorry, but I couldn't read more than two paragraphs. Please find a beta reader to correct your spelling and style (three 'then' in three consecutive sentences is too much). Dont't let my criticism keep you from writing, though.
schedule
September 10, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Please try making chapter 7 a bit longer then chapter 6, please. :(
schedule
September 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Is this the first time you have written a fic?
Or is English not your own language?
I am asking, because there are a lot of mistakes in your first chapter alone and the sentences are written a bit oddly.
Sorry.
Or is English not your own language?
I am asking, because there are a lot of mistakes in your first chapter alone and the sentences are written a bit oddly.
Sorry.
schedule
September 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
um i think i like the story but your chapters are soo short im having trouble following the story.
schedule
August 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
"After 2 hours in the infirmary Poppy the school nurse managed to get Harry breathing again." TWO HOURS?! Harry would be brain damaged. I know there is magic and all but really.
I think the concept is good but the follow through needs a bit of work. Get a good beta and don't give up.
I think the concept is good but the follow through needs a bit of work. Get a good beta and don't give up.
schedule
August 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
That was an intense chapter, but I think you need a beta for this story, there is a lot of errors.
Keep trying, and update soon, please.
Keep trying, and update soon, please.
schedule
August 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM
wow please update soon *kisses*
schedule
August 19, 2007 at 12:00 AM
well, this certainly has possibilities. i just wish the chapters were longer. oh well, you can just add more! the only thing i thought you could improve on was the descriptive emotion, like what harry and everyone else is feeling, and other non-dialogue parts of the story. you also might want to develop more dialogue, but it's hard with short chapters, so if you do write longer ones, it's something to keep in mind