schedule
December 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 9 again - Yes! The revised ending is 'gentler'. I don't write, only read ... but with reading, I've noticed how the authors create a story structure that arches through the tale by building up and then finishing out with a conclusion. Each chapter within the story is it's own small tale that follows the same arching pattern. [Except for the evil cliffie!] I have great admiration for those who can put properly spelled and used words into good sentence structure and string it all together into an entertaining story for the reader to enjoy. ;-)
schedule
December 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I like it. Please update soon.
schedule
December 19, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Ch. 9 - Hopefully helpful criticism... you need to learn to round your chapters out. They don't seem to 'end', but rather just stop. Almost like there was more to come that didn't! Whereas a true 'cliffhanger' builds up to a pinnacle and leaves you hanging in anticipation. The scenes should taper off, like the dimming of the lights at the end of a stage play. You just need to write a few more lines to close the scene out.
schedule
December 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
This was a great chapter. I can't believe that Ron was a complete idiot towards Hermione. He shouldn't be pressuring her to do anything. I think Professor Snape is developing feelings for Hermione and maybe she is beginning to like him more. I can't wait to read more soon.
schedule
December 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
...what!? you just stopped it there! that cant be legal. so you do have more right? and soon, right? well i hope so. ;)
schedule
December 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I like it. Please update soon.
schedule
December 11, 2007 at 12:00 AM
@8 great chapter, update soon
*DB*
*DB*
schedule
December 10, 2007 at 12:00 AM
boy he is quick. she will have to see something in him soon he can 'see' her and he can know and see the truth in her while her friends will buy the lies. this is going to be a fun story to see evole, i have a feeling things are just going to hit them at one point-maybe not but it will be fun to read! :) update soon!
schedule
December 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
An excellent chapter. I agree with Severus that Hermione needs to learn to cope with her problem. I hope that he can help her to overcome her newest problem of throwing up after eating. I think that he should get someone to monitor the lavitories so that she won't do it,unless he plans on following her everywhere. I look forward to reading more soon.
schedule
December 9, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?