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October 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
YAY wonderful. Great job!
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October 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Weeeellll...
That was pretty good.
Do be honest though, I can't say that I liked it as well as some of your other stories.
It was a change of pace - and much less sex-driven - than your others, to be certain (which isn't a bad thing... you don't want your plots to get stale after all!)
But I feel like it had too many plots/climaxes, and all and all I couldn't discern very much direction. I think it could have had been much shorter. I hate to say it... but I actually skipped a couple of sections/chapter and just scanned them for anything interesting. I think that the Rod subplot started out very good, but then it went totally off into it's own separate world. I just couldn't get into it after that.
Don't get me wrong. There were a lot of good things about it. I like how differently your write Hermione and Severus in this story. I loved Hugo's character. The last chapter was very nice/heartwarming. The lemons that WERE there were well written (as always).
If I had simply come across this randomly I would have thought "Oh yes! This is pretty good."
I think it's just that we've all come to expect such brilliant stories from you, and, for me, this one falls a little short.
Anyway, just trying to be constructive here. Certainly not trying to be malicious or anything.
And, as always, I look forward to your future stuff.
That was pretty good.
Do be honest though, I can't say that I liked it as well as some of your other stories.
It was a change of pace - and much less sex-driven - than your others, to be certain (which isn't a bad thing... you don't want your plots to get stale after all!)
But I feel like it had too many plots/climaxes, and all and all I couldn't discern very much direction. I think it could have had been much shorter. I hate to say it... but I actually skipped a couple of sections/chapter and just scanned them for anything interesting. I think that the Rod subplot started out very good, but then it went totally off into it's own separate world. I just couldn't get into it after that.
Don't get me wrong. There were a lot of good things about it. I like how differently your write Hermione and Severus in this story. I loved Hugo's character. The last chapter was very nice/heartwarming. The lemons that WERE there were well written (as always).
If I had simply come across this randomly I would have thought "Oh yes! This is pretty good."
I think it's just that we've all come to expect such brilliant stories from you, and, for me, this one falls a little short.
Anyway, just trying to be constructive here. Certainly not trying to be malicious or anything.
And, as always, I look forward to your future stuff.
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October 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
excellent!!! looking forward to the next chapter
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October 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Okay... I just got done reading all 79 chapters... it took me a while, but I did it.
I love this. Hermione and Severus are in character even when you explore sides of them we have never seen in the books, you make them believable. That can be hard to do and you do a fantastic job!
The storyline is great! With the little added plot twists and sub-plots you really keep the reader interested... even when there are 79 chapters to read.
Love. I adore how you slowly have them fall in love. Not... "Oh, hi, suddenly I have strong feelings for you. Let's have sex." You really get into the characters and have them fall realistically. I think some authors think, oh this fanfic, so they can have it happen really quick, which doesn't happen too often in real life. You make it heartwarming and believable.
I love how you write Hermione's kids! Little mixes of her and Ron, but with their own little quirks. Rod is a great character, a little like Severus, but then totally not. I think it is funny that Rose likes him when she was complaining about Severus before. Rod and Severus have a lot in common.
I can't wait to read more!
*Leah
I love this. Hermione and Severus are in character even when you explore sides of them we have never seen in the books, you make them believable. That can be hard to do and you do a fantastic job!
The storyline is great! With the little added plot twists and sub-plots you really keep the reader interested... even when there are 79 chapters to read.
Love. I adore how you slowly have them fall in love. Not... "Oh, hi, suddenly I have strong feelings for you. Let's have sex." You really get into the characters and have them fall realistically. I think some authors think, oh this fanfic, so they can have it happen really quick, which doesn't happen too often in real life. You make it heartwarming and believable.
I love how you write Hermione's kids! Little mixes of her and Ron, but with their own little quirks. Rod is a great character, a little like Severus, but then totally not. I think it is funny that Rose likes him when she was complaining about Severus before. Rod and Severus have a lot in common.
I can't wait to read more!
*Leah
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October 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Ooo! Naughty man. *giggles*
Thanks for the update.
Thanks for the update.
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October 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! yey for slytherin's!!! Loved it!This is why i love Sev so much! Great story. thanks
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October 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Chapter 79: This was a reply I gave to a fanfiction.net review from a reader who feels Snape needs to be humbled. I thought I'd share it here so others can see my mindset concerning this development.
Well, I've always seen Severus as more cunning and manipulative than Hermione, and I think this is the first instance that he has really used that cunning on the witch. Up to this point, I think Hermione has been the true controlling factor in this relationship. In this instance, Severus was up front in that he wanted to play a game and what he intended to do, giving her the option to back out at anytime.
She wanted to play the game.
It intrigued her and excited her and she felt she was in control of the situation. She still is actually. She played a Slytherin's game and right now, she's caught in the serpent's rather than the spider's web. As you said, she is a strong witch, and if there wasn't something in this that appealed to her on some level, she wouldn't "put up with it." She was initially curious about what kind of game the wizard would like to play. If her protestations were truly heartfelt, she'd leave despite how she felt physically.
Besides, I think it's time Severus showed his stuff. He's shown he's a good man more than adequately in this story, but also needs to show those of us who love his less than stellar side a bit of the old dark, manipulative, sensual, going-for-his Snape. I know I've missed him. lol.
Well, I've always seen Severus as more cunning and manipulative than Hermione, and I think this is the first instance that he has really used that cunning on the witch. Up to this point, I think Hermione has been the true controlling factor in this relationship. In this instance, Severus was up front in that he wanted to play a game and what he intended to do, giving her the option to back out at anytime.
She wanted to play the game.
It intrigued her and excited her and she felt she was in control of the situation. She still is actually. She played a Slytherin's game and right now, she's caught in the serpent's rather than the spider's web. As you said, she is a strong witch, and if there wasn't something in this that appealed to her on some level, she wouldn't "put up with it." She was initially curious about what kind of game the wizard would like to play. If her protestations were truly heartfelt, she'd leave despite how she felt physically.
Besides, I think it's time Severus showed his stuff. He's shown he's a good man more than adequately in this story, but also needs to show those of us who love his less than stellar side a bit of the old dark, manipulative, sensual, going-for-his Snape. I know I've missed him. lol.
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October 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I just love your story looking forward to more updates
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October 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Great chapter! Very interesting! :D
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October 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Ch 77 Found a line that is rather odd, to me at least...