rate_review Reviews

Aww.. you glazed over Charlies torture.. so Harry is a Sado/Masochist. Very very cool!

I'll beta if you still need it! Love this! Yey, i am so glad charlie got castrated

fantasic!!! update soon ^_^

Geesh, who would've thought there would ever be an act gruesome enough to disturb the Dark Lord? Though, I can't say I blame him, it doesn't seem as if he uses castration as a form of torture, plus the fact that it's his sweet little Harry that did it. I'm actually a little surprised he didn't pass out from shock. I think Harry may have been just a little bit angrier at Charlie than even Tom realized. Well written scene by the way, I got slightly ill just picturing it. I somehow think Tom may be keeping Harry out of torture in the future, for the sake of everyone's stomachs, including his own.

I loved Harry's hormones, and his refusing to eat the yellow gummi bears, I was almost on the floor laughing. it's a good thing for Harry that Tom's in love with him since you KNOW that nobody else would ever get away with treating him that way. Can't you just see the big bad Dark Lord sitting and picking out all the yellow gummi bears out of the five pound bag? Couldn't he make Lucius or someone do it? I mean, even the fact he went into muggle London to buy candy is shocking. Poor Tom though, I'm sure to him the idea of setting them aside as Harry ate was perfectly reasonable, too bad the mind of a pregnant person is not nearly that clear-cut.

I can't wait for the next chapter, here comes baby!

What a relief, he's back where he belongs. I can hardly wait, the baby! And Charlie torture. Please update soon.

how much cussing is harry going to do during delivery
please update soon

Yes!!! The twins turned dark!!! Woohoo!! And Harry is safe and back with Tom. The baby is fine!!! Dumbles is dead and Charlie will meet his doom. Great chapter!!! Keep up the good work.

I'm at the 2nd chapter, but it's very strange to me. You keep switching between past and present tense. I'm an English as a second language teacher and it bothers me. I recommend rewriting it to keep in one tense as it could be a really off-putter. I'll try reading more, but if it goes on, I just won't be able to. My hand is itching for my red pen. I think you should stick with past tense as that is what is usually used for story-telling.

Ok, reading on. I like the subject, but you could use a beta. At least someone to correct the grammar. Your style needs a tad bit of work so far as well, it's a bit abrupt. I know that's not easy to overcome, I'm working at it myself.

FINALLY! Oh, and Charlie needs to die too, okay?