schedule
April 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
nooooooo, please, dun kill them!
(aside from stupid ugly evil guys like Voldie n Bellatrix n WWormtail)
haha i dun see Lucius as someone who would willingly live in the Shrieking Shack. but saving his own neck is probably worth the trouble.
oh i'm dying to know wut Severus read from the book. you should write out the function n the fine print of it.
ah i'm glad u were able to fix the space.
n the A.N. are nicely done, informative but not too long.
i think the story has been progressing nicely. althou, i think it lacks a bit of content in your writing. it makes me feel that it's a bit fast or choppy.
there's a couple awkward phrasing, but nothin too noticeable.
i hope u'll find these points helpful.
(aside from stupid ugly evil guys like Voldie n Bellatrix n WWormtail)
haha i dun see Lucius as someone who would willingly live in the Shrieking Shack. but saving his own neck is probably worth the trouble.
oh i'm dying to know wut Severus read from the book. you should write out the function n the fine print of it.
ah i'm glad u were able to fix the space.
n the A.N. are nicely done, informative but not too long.
i think the story has been progressing nicely. althou, i think it lacks a bit of content in your writing. it makes me feel that it's a bit fast or choppy.
there's a couple awkward phrasing, but nothin too noticeable.
i hope u'll find these points helpful.
schedule
April 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
OK, good start, BUT why didn't Snape try to find out what Draco did to Harry before sending him to bed? For all he knows, Draco could have killed Harry and he's wasting valuanble time by not trying to find out what happened. Pretty pathetic for a spy!!
schedule
April 29, 2007 at 12:00 AM
wow.....that was wow keep updating i would love to see what you come up with next
schedule
April 29, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I sooo need chapter 3! Poor Harry! He could die from his injuries. Fever could set in as well as infection.
schedule
April 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
hey everyone!!! im reallly sorry bout the huge spaces!!! My computer is being an idiot, and i keep trying to fix it but it does the same thing over and over again!!! Can someone help me?
schedule
April 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Oh no! Poor Harry! Draco tortured and raped him. Of course Severus will prolly find out and cover for him. This is all his fault! Sooo need chapter 2!
schedule
April 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
i liked the summary, thus why i came in to read.
it's a good start, and i like the plot so far.
i love the angst, and hope to see more of it.
not a lot of character development seen of Harry or Draco, but that's understandable. so i want to see how they will progress.
i like seeing Severus, but he seems very irresponsible. i would like to see how he will react once he finds out that he exposed Harry to his torture.
oh n i would like to see how Lucius fits in.
other than that i truly look forward to the next chapter.
ps i was gona have a whole paragraph about how i hate that huge ass space in the beginning of the chapter. but thankfully i saw the review page. since u haven't been able to fix it yet, u should put in an A.N. in the 1st chapter.
it's a good start, and i like the plot so far.
i love the angst, and hope to see more of it.
not a lot of character development seen of Harry or Draco, but that's understandable. so i want to see how they will progress.
i like seeing Severus, but he seems very irresponsible. i would like to see how he will react once he finds out that he exposed Harry to his torture.
oh n i would like to see how Lucius fits in.
other than that i truly look forward to the next chapter.
ps i was gona have a whole paragraph about how i hate that huge ass space in the beginning of the chapter. but thankfully i saw the review page. since u haven't been able to fix it yet, u should put in an A.N. in the 1st chapter.