AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Memory

by mindovermadness

person Varjo
schedule April 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
It's so sad...
person Snarky B.
schedule April 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Your story would be a lot better if you had a beta reader help you. There's a lot of incomplete sentences and tense confusion in your writing. On a positive note, you don't have very many run-on sentences or spelling errors.