rate_review Reviews

Great story so far! i can't wait for more! please update soon!

First of all, I'd like to state that this is not a flame, and isn't meant in anyway to offend. I read through all nine posted chapters of your story, even though I don't particularly care for stories with non-canon characters, because I think you've got a good idea going here, and I'd like you to finish the story. The problem is that you desperately need at beta. You've got a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes in here, as well as a lot of switching back and forth between tenses. There are also quite a few instances where you've contradicted yourself, most notably where you describe Sarah as being blonde and blue-eyed, and then a moment later describe her as being dark-haired and dark-eyed, and another instance in which you describe Lucius as being of average length, and then in the next sentence describe him as being of above average length. I think this may be the reason you have so many hits but very few reviews. These type of mistakes make a story not only difficult to read, but also make it seem as if you don't care about your own story enough to bother proofreading it. Continuity and flow are important in keeping your readers interested enough to see your story through to the end, and these sorts of mistakes disrupt that. I hope you will take these suggestions in the spirit in which they are intended, as constructive criticism, in order to help you, because I really would like you to continue this story! I'd like to know what happens next. Will Ginny indeed marry Voldemort and succumb to the Dark Side, becoming his Queen? Or will she resist, and find a way out? Or will Harry and the Order save the day and rescue her, enabling her and Harry to have a happy ever after? I really want to know!

o the plot thickins I was worried this was just going to be a big PWP for awaile good job update again soon

A nice story. That my be my unusual dislike for Ginny, or the cruel streak hiding itself within me, but still, I enjoyed the story. Nice job.

This is really good. Pls update soon!!!!

Excellent Story.

Please continue.

Don't normally like theses slave style stories but this is really good and very well written. Look forward to your next update.

good. harsh. i like it. i would like to see Ginny with some higher-ups in the dark forces, do some spying and such. in any case, keep it up i will definitly be looking for your next update