rate_review Reviews

person CryingCinderella

schedule April 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM

Very nice. I was wondering when the lusty threesome was going to come about. Though I hadn't pictured it on the kitchen table. It's difficult to tell if the last line truly belongs to Severus or Lupin, it seems out of sorts for Severus, mostly more like something Remus would say, but when you said "kisses on the shoulder" it made me visualize the back of her shoulder, though I am perfectly aware that it could be Lupin at the top or front of her shoulder and thus Lupin's action & dialogue.

The only unfortunate thing about said location, well two or three things, actually. They're going to need a new table, obviously, lol, they can't lie down amongst one another as if they were in a gorgeous bed, and getting unsheathed may be tricky from standing/tabling/etc. I am pleased with your choice not to set it in a bed, that would have been very conventional. This adds spice.

Nice job. I'm very much looking forward to your next chapter and I do hope it's not a teaser chapter as the last few before this chapter had been. I know I've been terribly neglectful in my own works, but alas, life has consumed me. I only woke up in the middle of having a strange dream about one of my own lovers and felt disturbed b/c it is too late to call and wake her, she does not sleep well. So I found myself meandering over here, and look what I stumbled upon? :p

Keep up the good work. :)

person scotsgirl