AFF Fiction Portal
person kisa
schedule April 28, 2007 at 12:00 AM
please write some more it is really good so far.
person heaven56
schedule April 26, 2007 at 12:00 AM
All I have to say is...WTF??? I love this story. Might want to work on the dialog, try to make it like this.

Harry gasped. "No, it can't!"

"Yes." Severus said. (<-----that is an example.) I makes the chapter look longer.

I am not flaming, but I am tell you what I do. You can do what you want.

BTW...I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!
person Ana
schedule April 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
While this is a good idea for a story it goes to fast, slow it down a little.
person Makovaso
schedule April 3, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Next chapter please.
person Heksy
schedule March 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Okay, I started reading and, although a bit rough around the edges, I think it has promise.
What I do not like however, is the fact that you put a/n as a new chapter.
It made me happy to see another chappie, only to find out it wasn't.
Too bad.
person AkaneIkeda
schedule March 25, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Fucking cool, this one!
Go on, pleaze!
person sanda
schedule March 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I like it
person UniGirl
schedule March 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I'm sorry but your spelling, punctuation and grammar are terrible. The story seems to be all over the place - it doesn't 'flow' smoothly. You need to work on your chapters a LOT more before posting them. Don't give up though - it takes a lot of guts to post a story! Good luck with your next chapter.
schedule March 24, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Love the idea!!! But you need to slow it down a bit because it just seems as if everything is in a big rush o be finished!
person tar
schedule March 23, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Your fic seems promising, hope you continue it ... can't wait to read the next chapter.