schedule
September 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I think you did a beautiful job on this. The seduction was perfect and definately sucked me in. As much as I'd love for you to continue, where would you go? It's almost like killing a perfect story with a sequel, it just cannot live up to the heartwrenching, gut twisting desires that were built up in the first one.
Whatever your decision I'll most likely read anything you write. Keep up the great work. And Hey, thanks for serving our country! Hope you are home and safe.
Whatever your decision I'll most likely read anything you write. Keep up the great work. And Hey, thanks for serving our country! Hope you are home and safe.
schedule
March 8, 2007 at 12:00 AM
only read the first two paragraphs so far, so can't comment on writing or content yet.
1st paragraph--"night club" should be "nightclubs"
2nd paragraph--Hermione's burying herself "in" work, not "into", and she got Ginny to "go" with her, not "went" with her.
Cheers,
nonentity
1st paragraph--"night club" should be "nightclubs"
2nd paragraph--Hermione's burying herself "in" work, not "into", and she got Ginny to "go" with her, not "went" with her.
Cheers,
nonentity
schedule
March 8, 2007 at 12:00 AM
It'd be nice to see a second chapter. Your prose flows very well, although you need a beta for some minor stuff.