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December 28, 2010 at 12:00 AM
I've been going back through older postings, looking for stories I hadn't read, and found this today. I notice it's been almost 3 years since your last chapter of Songbird and that is a disappointment...because this story is written so well. I've seen beta'd stories with less cohesion. And your original plot (no one has gone the Bardic path with Harry before) is so refreshing. I hope that tragedy is not the reason this story was abandoned, such a thing has recently happened to a young woman I've known for years: a drunk driver took her from us. So I hope you are hale and hearty, just overwhelmed with Real Life.
I love that your writing shows a grasp of the english language, with proper spelling, correct diction and puncuation (had to get that out and appease the spelling nazi in me xD ) but it's the storyline and the actual telling of it that I've learned is more important than the technical properties of a tale. Those minor things, when done well, are only icing on the cake. You have diologue that shows intelligence and character interaction makes sense (please God, save me from inane drivel) and the reading flows well, moving the story along without draging.
Your character representaion seemed to be spot on, as well as character development. If someone is going to change from their usual behavior, it is the author's job to provide a valid reason for the change...and make it a believable reason and a believable change. I've seen Snapes who suddenly turn into an oversensitive, poetic 'Barbera Cartland' hero after a few kisses. Unrealistic. As a reader, I want to BELIEVE that the emotions one experiences are real and you've done that. A good, slow building of a relationship makes much more sense and will grip a reader stronger than a short story that is only like a snapshot. You need a whole photo album to tell a story.
I hope you return to finish 'Songbird' someday. I would love to see how it ends.
Instruments: while the piano is the only instrument that is stringed and percussive, it's way too bulky for Bardic purposes (unless you happen to fight in a concert hall) so something small and portable would be much more practical. You also want the voice to be free for more complex spell singing, to combine voice and instrument, so I would rule out wind instruments. Wait...there was a guitar/synthesizer that was shortly popular in the 80's, just get it to work with a magical battery. LOL Otherwise I'd go with a more traditional stringed instrument. Except for a ukeleli; I don't anyone would take Harry seriously with that. While a violin is lovely, he would have to have a bow to play it. My vote is for some kind of lap harp, small and versitile. Only needs hands and skill, goes well with singing, weaving the melody while the voice can command. Not quite so fragile as a violin either.
Best of wishes.
I love that your writing shows a grasp of the english language, with proper spelling, correct diction and puncuation (had to get that out and appease the spelling nazi in me xD ) but it's the storyline and the actual telling of it that I've learned is more important than the technical properties of a tale. Those minor things, when done well, are only icing on the cake. You have diologue that shows intelligence and character interaction makes sense (please God, save me from inane drivel) and the reading flows well, moving the story along without draging.
Your character representaion seemed to be spot on, as well as character development. If someone is going to change from their usual behavior, it is the author's job to provide a valid reason for the change...and make it a believable reason and a believable change. I've seen Snapes who suddenly turn into an oversensitive, poetic 'Barbera Cartland' hero after a few kisses. Unrealistic. As a reader, I want to BELIEVE that the emotions one experiences are real and you've done that. A good, slow building of a relationship makes much more sense and will grip a reader stronger than a short story that is only like a snapshot. You need a whole photo album to tell a story.
I hope you return to finish 'Songbird' someday. I would love to see how it ends.
Instruments: while the piano is the only instrument that is stringed and percussive, it's way too bulky for Bardic purposes (unless you happen to fight in a concert hall) so something small and portable would be much more practical. You also want the voice to be free for more complex spell singing, to combine voice and instrument, so I would rule out wind instruments. Wait...there was a guitar/synthesizer that was shortly popular in the 80's, just get it to work with a magical battery. LOL Otherwise I'd go with a more traditional stringed instrument. Except for a ukeleli; I don't anyone would take Harry seriously with that. While a violin is lovely, he would have to have a bow to play it. My vote is for some kind of lap harp, small and versitile. Only needs hands and skill, goes well with singing, weaving the melody while the voice can command. Not quite so fragile as a violin either.
Best of wishes.
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August 5, 2009 at 12:00 AM
enjoyed the concept and storyline. hope you pick this story up again. lookin forward to it. viva la vida.
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September 23, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I LOVE this story. It really caught my attention and I wasn't able to stop reading. It's really original and I love the concept of magic controlled by music. I can't wait until you update cause I know I'll love it! Keep up the good work.
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April 22, 2008 at 12:00 AM
this story really good.i hope you continue.
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March 26, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I really enjoy this story. I just wish there was more of it, but that can be rectified (i just hate waiting!) The story's awesome and I'm looking forward to finding out what Harry's instrument is (or how many of them there end up being). And I wonder when we'll see the romance begin. I can't wait to see the rest of your fic. Good luck!
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March 8, 2008 at 12:00 AM
wonderful story
i enjoy reading it and hope that the next chapter will be up soon
i enjoy reading it and hope that the next chapter will be up soon
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February 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I rather like this story so far! The relationship between Harry and Snape (and how it's changing) and Harry's singing.
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February 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hay
I love your Story. Its so very different. I like the way "your" Harry acts and talks.And I also think your doing a grate job writing Snape.
I think the Violine would be perfect for Harry.
So thats all from me. Keep up the good work. Greetings LadyClaw
PS: Sorry if there are any spelling mistakes, but english is not my native language.
I love your Story. Its so very different. I like the way "your" Harry acts and talks.And I also think your doing a grate job writing Snape.
I think the Violine would be perfect for Harry.
So thats all from me. Keep up the good work. Greetings LadyClaw
PS: Sorry if there are any spelling mistakes, but english is not my native language.
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February 12, 2008 at 12:00 AM
aww i think its a cute snarry fic. i like it so far n i wish u luck
on ur mid-terms i no how hard those can b. hope 2 c an update soon.
ur new fan AoiKitsune. =^-^=
on ur mid-terms i no how hard those can b. hope 2 c an update soon.
ur new fan AoiKitsune. =^-^=
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February 12, 2008 at 12:00 AM
side note i forgot i think the violin would b good for harry cus
if his sick w/ a cold or somethin n cant use his voice how is he
goin 2 use a flute. n da piano is 2 big 4 him 2 have nearby 24/7.
as for 'mione animal would b cat and Ron would have 2 b a weasel lol.
no mayb a dog or something. dunno it up 2 u/ laters AoiKitsune =^-^=
if his sick w/ a cold or somethin n cant use his voice how is he
goin 2 use a flute. n da piano is 2 big 4 him 2 have nearby 24/7.
as for 'mione animal would b cat and Ron would have 2 b a weasel lol.
no mayb a dog or something. dunno it up 2 u/ laters AoiKitsune =^-^=