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February 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
The first chapter needs some editing, some of Draco's thoughs cross with Lucius. If you fix the punctuation it would be easier to read. The second is better. It's good though! You could probrally add to it if you ever wanted to. =^-^=
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February 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Perhaps I shouldn't, but I cant help it. I fucking love this. I think it's brilliant. Amazing. I'm going to read it again. Over and over. Definitly one of my favourites.
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January 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
It was very well written. Very depraved. Its a perfect rendition of how the mind of a neglected child works (from a psychological perspective, of course), how they feel the need to please the bearer of abuse above all else. It was very intense and darkly erotic. I can't wait to see what you come up with next.
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January 30, 2007 at 12:00 AM
that was I don't know what to say it was great writing. The writing was disturbingly amazing if you know what i mean.
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January 29, 2007 at 12:00 AM
AWESOME. The revision was worth it, this is practically perfect.
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January 28, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Wow, that's a long time working on a story, no wonder it's so good. I alost cried in the first chapter and the second was even better. You've done a wonderful job and I hope you will write more ^^
schedule
January 27, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Whoa...