AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Beyond Pathetic

by FarAway

person Kacy
schedule January 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Um... okay. Well, your writing is very good - easy to read, flows well, few mistakes, etc.
You seem like a pretty clever person.
I like how Hermione's character is shaping up - friendly, kind hearted, and such. But, other than that I'm not sure that I like the premise of this story so much.
It was okay at first, but then... I think the patheticness of Snape gets out of control.
He's a whining virgin feeling sorry for himself because he's in love with Hermione?
He wants Hermione to dominate him?
He's never even had ONE date??
Dur... this isn't the Snape we all love and fantisize about!
A little bit of patheticness that Snape does his best to hide is alright.
But this is rediculous.
You get points for originality I guess, but I'm not sure I'm going to keep reading this.
I just makes me feel too embarrassed and uncomfortable for him.
person Anon
schedule January 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Rahahahaha! Love it, love your adjectives. Poor poor Snape indeed, lol! And a virgin!! HEE HEE! I'm definitely looking forward to more. :)
person Addie
schedule January 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
seems so incredibly pathetic but i want more!!!
person faye
schedule January 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM
it's so sweet! you should definetely continue :)
I like snape this way :) ! good job ;) update soon!
person melusinesara
schedule January 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM
this story is fantastic! i can't wait to read more. there aren't enough SS/HG fics with Hermione as a professor. i love it!
person Herm
schedule January 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Oh!!! Severus, a virgin?!! You're not that cruel, are you? LOL Like that a lot and I can see you're fulled of sarcasm. In fact I rather have it only in Severus' POV. It's more fun to keep guessing. :)
Up date quick quick
person bluedecor
schedule January 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM
"Hermione had displayed a mind numbingly sado-masochistic side"

Please tell me you are going to explain what events got Snape's mind running in that direction in the library!
person Winnie91
schedule January 1, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I really enjoyed the SS point of view. Also, I like how you got into detail how "it" happened. Most authors of HG/SS just write as if it's a fact that they are in love. You did an excellent job of showing his "descent".

Finally I love how you wrote this:

She was horrifyingly mature.

And he could see her cleavage when she had her arms crossed like that.
person Mel
schedule December 31, 2006 at 12:00 AM
MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE..uhh getting the idea here..LOL good story
person chrissy
schedule December 31, 2006 at 12:00 AM
please dont let this story go to waste like so many other unfinished stories have. i sincerely hope that you update as often as you can b/c it is truly an excellent story.