rate_review Reviews

for Unexpected Visitor

by AlexAnderson

person tinkrox10

schedule October 18, 2009 at 12:00 AM

dang that was HOT

person Anon

schedule February 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM

I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?

person Karen

schedule January 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM

no offense, but you need a beta. Correct formatting will make the story much more readable. The story shows some promise, especially the first half. Also, Draco really needs to generously lube himself--either with his or her juices are artificially--before going into Hermione's butt--he'd never been able to thrust up forcefully otherwise. And it takes a while for the girl to adjust and get comfortable.

person Deeply.Jaded

schedule December 30, 2006 at 12:00 AM

Your story contains a lot of spelling errors. Can I suggest a Beta?
I think then the comments will get better. Don't be disappointed, keep it up!

DJ

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