AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Heir

by Julianne

person nekochan
schedule January 3, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Why have you change the gender of HARRY. You don't like Harry in man. The story is good, but too fast. The chapters are too small.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PWEAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEE, LET'S HARRY IN MAN.
person L.H.
schedule January 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Your grammar and spelling needs work. A lot of the mistakes are very basic, don't know if they are due to typing mistakes or you writing too fast. Anyay you should be able to correct a lot of them by reading through what you have written before posting.
Your sentence structure could use some work as well. A beta reader will be able to help you with that.
schedule January 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hi! Umm...If you want an honest opinion, I'm here to give you mine. This story is slightly rushed and the grammar/spelling is a little off. My suggestion would be to get a Beta. You can find one in the 'Betas' Section of the site, and they'll help you with your grammar and whatnot. Hopefully this helps.

This isn't a flamer, I swear! I really love the premises for this story and can't wait to read more, but I'm beginning to believe that either English isn't your first language, or you're not old enough to be on the site...I'm leaning towards the first, which is perfectly fine. You just need a Beta to help you! (I have a Beta, and English is my first language...^__^) It's really just for precautions.

Anyway, I really like this story and can't wait for more.

Slashy Snitch
person MarySueMustDie
schedule January 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Troll in the dungeon, I hope. You are turning Harry into a Mary Sue and you really need a beta. Better luck on the rewrite.
person thrnbrooke
schedule January 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I like the story! Would like to read chapter 4!
person Cheri
schedule January 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Love this story so far. I hope to see more soon. H/D pairings are some of my fave stories. Can never go wrong with two hot guys(Right?)
person v
schedule January 2, 2007 at 12:00 AM
pretty goooood!!!
schedule December 27, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Is he seriously going to be a girl?
or is that just a status thing?


shadow
person drippy123
schedule December 27, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Hello. You need spaces between your paragraphs, as well as to make certain what needs to be capitalized is. Please, go get a beta editor/reader; they can be of great help. Also, read the dictionary and get your hands on a good English book.
person Sabby
schedule December 26, 2006 at 12:00 AM
0.o wtf?! oh hell no u can't even dare write this story ><