rate_review Reviews

Having a pair of ‘star-crossed lovers’ at crosses purposes, or at an impasse, is a common device that can create wonderful tension between characters to build a story around.  The trick is to find a way to move the characters forward and break the tension.  All that happened here was nothing: the characters just kept treading water.  

The word that applies here, or rather DOESN’T apply here, is denouement: borrowed from the French, it literally means unraveling, and refers to the resolution of the conflict(s) in the story.  In this case, it is both Harry and Ginny wanting to take their relationship to the next level, but both are either afraid to make the next move, or are waiting for the other to do it.  The scenes with the other characters really doesn’t tell either of them anything they don’t already know about themselves or what to do.  The author desperately needs to throw Harry & Ginny together at the end of this and have SOMETHING a little more intimate happen.  Just leaving it with them both resolved to try harder and be more aggressive doesn’t convince the reader it will happen, when you’ve gone to great pains to spell out that after two years nothing has happened!   

Gramnatically pretty solid and well edited. The dialogue between the characters was pretty good, too.  But if you’re going to tell a story, it’s a good idea to have something good - or bad - happen to the main characters.