schedule
December 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
You had two phrases in this chapter: "lifeless, naked but still warm" and "burying his fangs into the steady pulse and sipping from his first proper meal in over a decade"
I rather suspect that if their foodsource was lifeless, there wouldn't be a steady pulse. Perhaps, if the food source is a volunteer that will life, you might want to change lifeless to motionless, and if their food source is really dead, you might want to change steady pulse to pooling blood or something like that.
Other than that, I'm enjoying this story very much.
I rather suspect that if their foodsource was lifeless, there wouldn't be a steady pulse. Perhaps, if the food source is a volunteer that will life, you might want to change lifeless to motionless, and if their food source is really dead, you might want to change steady pulse to pooling blood or something like that.
Other than that, I'm enjoying this story very much.
schedule
December 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Go harry! Though isn't Octavia a girl's name?
schedule
December 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
So, Severus is a vampire? Interesting... I never read fics like this, but you're talented enough to have caught my attention.
schedule
December 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
The title cracks me up.
I loved this chapter and I hope you update soon.
Oh, update What the Devil Wants as well. I kinda of missing the fic right now...
Love you!
I loved this chapter and I hope you update soon.
Oh, update What the Devil Wants as well. I kinda of missing the fic right now...
Love you!
schedule
December 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
It's a great story, like all your other stories you have written in the past. I like how you are developing the characters and making the story creative. Thanks for the updates to. Keep up the work!
schedule
December 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
It is a good story. Stop listening to the whiners and finish it. I thank it will be good once all the detials come together. One comment the chapters could be a little longer but i still like it
E
E
schedule
December 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Ignore them, I say! So, there hasn't been much smut...It only makes my anticipation mount! Lol. I like Octavia. He seems sort of easy going but you don't want to mess with him either. Update real soon!
schedule
December 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I like it so far, i can be patient and wait for the Sev/harry interaction to pick up. Besides you update reguarly that's a plus!
schedule
December 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
So how 'bout a smutty plot???? :)))))) What the heck, just keep writing!!!!!!!
schedule
December 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Don't let them get you down. I love your stories.