schedule
November 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
To Nadine...once again.
Well, first of all, my dear Nadine, you are damn right, I
Well, first of all, my dear Nadine, you are damn right, I
schedule
November 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
'Honey-Bonny', you got a rating of four. That's all you deserved.
An opinion is an opinion, my opinion is my opinion. Your story had -what's the word- hope. If it was polished and more effort and time were ACTUALLY put into it then it was possible for it to get a five/five. Yes, writers often do make mistakes. I've posted my own story, and darling, there's nothing more satisfying than a good LOOK-OVER! I suggest you do that next time. Countless mistakes sort of lead you away from the plot and redirect your attention on the impossible amount of wording and grammatical mistakes. If there is a next time, of course.
Oh, and just to fix some of the words your muddled mind has obviously mixed up, my first comment was "don't leave the sentences in one big block of a paragraph, Split it down, it's easier to read." Not that all 13 year olds write long sentences. READ before you find something negative to say, darling. Don't embarrass yourself.
Words of advice from a "budding criticizer": Lick your self sideways.
An opinion is an opinion, my opinion is my opinion. Your story had -what's the word- hope. If it was polished and more effort and time were ACTUALLY put into it then it was possible for it to get a five/five. Yes, writers often do make mistakes. I've posted my own story, and darling, there's nothing more satisfying than a good LOOK-OVER! I suggest you do that next time. Countless mistakes sort of lead you away from the plot and redirect your attention on the impossible amount of wording and grammatical mistakes. If there is a next time, of course.
Oh, and just to fix some of the words your muddled mind has obviously mixed up, my first comment was "don't leave the sentences in one big block of a paragraph, Split it down, it's easier to read." Not that all 13 year olds write long sentences. READ before you find something negative to say, darling. Don't embarrass yourself.
Words of advice from a "budding criticizer": Lick your self sideways.
schedule
November 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Nadine, yours truly.<
See, it's easy to admit your mistakes.
And it's GO Lick yourself sideways.
My apologies.
schedule
November 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
are you using a speech to text programme? Manny of the mistakes that i see are like similar to the errors that i have found while using dictation software. I this a translated fic? i have seen several words that do not mean what i think you think they mean.
In sentences like: "my tears were shading*, that is why my view was very fluid*" ,"I condensed* my wand tightly" and "After a moment I was taken in arms."
the words -shading, fluid, and condensed- and the Phrase "in arms"- are not used correctly.
*shading- probably a typo intended to be sheding
*fluid- not correct in meaning as used. connotations do not apply.
definition of fluid: Of, relating to, or characteristic of a fluid.
Readily reshaped; pliable.
Smooth and flowing; graceful: the fluid motion of a cat.
Other words that would be more appropriate: Watery, beclouded, befogged, blear, cloudy, dim,
dull, fogy, gloomy, misty, obscure, unclear,
indefinite, indistinct
*condensed- incorrect usage unsure of replacement as i am unsure of intent.
definition of condensed: Past tense of To cause (a gas or vapor) to change to a liquid.
To remove water from (milk, for example.)
To make more concise; abridge or shorten.
To become more compact. To undergo condensation.
*in arms- this phrase in vernacular english invokes the act of taking up weapons to defend ones self,
changing the wording of this slightly would correct this issue.
exe- After a moment I was taken into the arms of a friend.
this is what a beta dose. he or she is a fact checker and proof reader. they do not change the story as you intended it, only try to catch things you may have missed and work with you to improve on your creation. it is like having a caddy in golf. the caddy is there to make sure you have all the tools you need and to give you tips on your back stroke thus improving your game.
what ever you do keep on writing. It is important that you do what you love regardless of the flames.
In sentences like: "my tears were shading*, that is why my view was very fluid*" ,"I condensed* my wand tightly" and "After a moment I was taken in arms."
the words -shading, fluid, and condensed- and the Phrase "in arms"- are not used correctly.
*shading- probably a typo intended to be sheding
*fluid- not correct in meaning as used. connotations do not apply.
definition of fluid: Of, relating to, or characteristic of a fluid.
Readily reshaped; pliable.
Smooth and flowing; graceful: the fluid motion of a cat.
Other words that would be more appropriate: Watery, beclouded, befogged, blear, cloudy, dim,
dull, fogy, gloomy, misty, obscure, unclear,
indefinite, indistinct
*condensed- incorrect usage unsure of replacement as i am unsure of intent.
definition of condensed: Past tense of To cause (a gas or vapor) to change to a liquid.
To remove water from (milk, for example.)
To make more concise; abridge or shorten.
To become more compact. To undergo condensation.
*in arms- this phrase in vernacular english invokes the act of taking up weapons to defend ones self,
changing the wording of this slightly would correct this issue.
exe- After a moment I was taken into the arms of a friend.
this is what a beta dose. he or she is a fact checker and proof reader. they do not change the story as you intended it, only try to catch things you may have missed and work with you to improve on your creation. it is like having a caddy in golf. the caddy is there to make sure you have all the tools you need and to give you tips on your back stroke thus improving your game.
what ever you do keep on writing. It is important that you do what you love regardless of the flames.
schedule
November 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
"Insanity" Is right! I work with Mentally Challenged folk and they make more sense then this woman. The Entire story is just....Everywhere! But putting aside the numerous grammatical errors....did anyone actually read the story?! It's just Stupid.
You could have written the word INSANITY a thousand times and that would have made more sense....LOL
You could have written the word INSANITY a thousand times and that would have made more sense....LOL
schedule
November 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
this is puled directly from an artical on the Resources page
How do you write a good Harry Potter story?
By Beth Brownell
11. Do I really have to have the correct spelling in my story?
Yes, unless you want flames or your story deleted from Fanfiction.net since it is now an abuse not to use your spellchecker on your computer or pick up a dictionary to find the correct word if it is not found on your spellchecker. Usually, your beta reader will correct those spelling errors but to help her or him out, please find the proper spelling for that word.
And if someone finds a misspelled word after you had it beta read and you double checked the story, don't get upset, go in and fix it.
How do you write a good Harry Potter story?
By Beth Brownell
11. Do I really have to have the correct spelling in my story?
Yes, unless you want flames or your story deleted from Fanfiction.net since it is now an abuse not to use your spellchecker on your computer or pick up a dictionary to find the correct word if it is not found on your spellchecker. Usually, your beta reader will correct those spelling errors but to help her or him out, please find the proper spelling for that word.
And if someone finds a misspelled word after you had it beta read and you double checked the story, don't get upset, go in and fix it.
schedule
November 27, 2006 at 12:00 AM
constructive criticism is meant to be constructive. some of the flames your story has acquired are very rude an not constructive at all. however their comments have some merit. Your writing needs to be proof read to catch all of the errors that are not found by spellcheck. I realise that this is not an english class and you write for your own enjoyment, but i think the story is lost in all the grammatical errors. In some parts of the fic the vocabulary and grammar is so muddled that i loose all sense of plot. even if your beta just pointed out misused words and a few of the confusing parts your story wold immensely improve. keep on writing, but more importantly keep rewriting it is the only way to continue to grow as a writer.
schedule
November 26, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I think I get the gist of your story and I like where you are going, but some of your translation isn't very clear. Although I think this 'Nadine' person is terribly rude in the way she presented it, she has a point that a beta would help you express your story in a way that is more understandable for english speaker (which I assume are your audience?). A beta, to my understanding, will give you grammatical advice, not rewrite your story. It would still be your words and feelings- you would just get some help clearing up your ideas.
I would very much like to see more writing from you, as you seem to have a wonderful imagination.
I would very much like to see more writing from you, as you seem to have a wonderful imagination.
schedule
November 26, 2006 at 12:00 AM
man, i did like it. And the wrongs in it were so minuscules i didn't even payed attention as i'm sure most of the people who read it didn't payed attention either. keep on the good work!
schedule
November 25, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Just to show you a few of your mistakes and WHY you should really get a beta. Anything between quotes ("") are your lines. Anything not are my comments.
"You
"You