rate_review Reviews

wow that chapter was great as well, i was so excited when i saw that you had updated! and i dont think your story is between and outline and a story, its definitely a story. the characters are developing just fine, especially in this chapter where i saw a lot of character development in draco, and some in harry. i saw how they are changing, how harry comforts draco and draco belongs to harry. its coming along perfectly. once again, i cant wait for the next chapter. oh, and congratulations on finishing your exams, thats gotta be a relief.

oh man i gotta learn to get these reviews into one review, lol. anyways, i just wanted to say to that person who keeps critisizing your work, uhhhh, hello! this is a fricken FANFIC! its NOT REAL! its okay to have class issues, and it doesnt matter if its logical or not that harry's hair is long. hes not real, therefore, his muscles will not be strained. so stop nit-picking and just read the story. if you have some real criticism, then go ahead and say it, dont waste time on the umimportant stuff, especially if the fact that harrys hair is long adds to the story. sheesh!

Soooo can't wait for chapter 27!

Wow, I am shocked! Thank you so much for reccomending my story! *Blushes* I feel all gooey and teary, I am such a girl!!! LOL

OH! And this was a nice chapter, I always love when the boys end up grinding into one another until they cum, *fans self* that is so hot - its so intense!!! *rawr* Ok, so now that I am done gushing, I can't wait for more! :)

ah poor Draco has it bad for Harry. Nice images for such a quick chapter though. Excellent and good luck on those exams. I myself am so busy anymore, its crazy.

good work,
VM

Sooo need chapter 26! How wonderful!

Chapter 22: You have a real fetish for using the word 'bar'. In fact it's OVER-used. I would suggest you use 'except' and other words/phrases as well.

The story? Somewhere between an outline and a real story, in my opinion. It needs filling out: not so much in details, but in developing the characters.

It would also help if there weren't so many run-on sentences, and punctuation was used more correctly. The story *does* have promise, but I think it could use more work. Keep at it, though; I believe you have the talent.

I must say I love this story. It's quite excellent, and even fun! And funny in places. And... uh... Aberforth Dumbledore fucks goats!

Cheers

Chapter 11: Careful of how you have the characters talk; it's a class issue. Ron, as one of the lower class, would certainly say 'owt' for 'ought', but Harry would never say 'summat'.

The only other story issue I have is the length of Harry's hair. Yes, it would look 'super-cool', but that much hair, as thick as it is, would weigh at least five to ten pounds - all pulling on his scalp and neck, leading to muscle strain by the end of the day, and likely headaches much sooner. Not to mention that he'd be sitting on it, having it snag on stuff, getting in the way during dueling practice, etc. I'd say mid-back to lower back at the longest for practical purposes. At that length it could be controlled by braiding or binding.

Draco seemed very caught up in his fantasy. It did seem like he could not think that straight either.
I love the story you recommended. I think most of Copper Vixen storied are fabulous. I would recommened them anytime. Along with your fic. Good job.