rate_review Reviews

What happens next? Who's doing this to Harry's friends? Please HURRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ch. 22 The recommendation "The Plan" has no URL. Which is it? I admit to being...curious.

No review; just something funny I read in the paper last week. Check it out! ;D

http://www.gocomics.com/nonsequitur/2007/11/16/

I just started reading this fic and when I start so far in I like to save my comments until I've read all the chapters posted. I think this is a great story so far and will continue to follow it until the end. I like the nice Snape you depict in this fic it makes for a nice change to his attitude. As for Dumbledore, I have never wanted someone dead more than I do him right now. What he did to Ron and Hermione, no forget that what he has done to Damn near all of them is wrong. Is he going to try and kill Harry? I don't want to believe that, but I do believe that Harry will really kill him for all he has done. I can't wait to read Harry and draco's bond I'm sure it will a very special moment, and I might be anticipating that final battle between Harry and Voldemort a little bit more than that. Can't wait to see how your story continues to develop, it's really good for your first fic. I have been contemplating writing my first fic because I have definitely read enough of them, any words of advise?

Ch. 39 Even though I found myself almost writhing with objections to certain things in your story, I forced myself to read all the current chapters before venturing an opinion.

First of all, I'm new to the whole Harry Potter phenomenon. While I've been aware of the books since the first one was released, I hesitated to get caught up in the mania that surrounded it. Therefore, I'm not as conversant or knowing about the canon.

I do know a few things such as the names of certain characters, their various dynamics, the nature of some magical creatures, etc. It is disturbing to see Dumbledore portrayed as a manipulative self-serving cad and Severus Snape as a (submissive!) loving soul. But having no real fan's affection towards either of them, it has gotten easier to come around to the theories and story plots you have put forward about them.

Harry has been in danger at school from his very first year, making you wonder why Dumbledore hasn't done a better job of protecting him. And he addressed his first letter to Harry as living "under the stairs" at the Dursleys. So he must have had an idea of how he was being mistreated. Why was nothing done about that? Hagrid had intimidated the Dursleys at one point; surely more could have been done to make sure they treated Harry well. Another mystery.

Your reasoning behind your ideas are well plotted out and very plausible. I am forced to admit that I CAN believe the various plot twists, surprises and character developments. You have obviously thought out everything very carefully and it shows.

I also like the recommendations you have at the end of some of your chapters. When I have time, I will try to read them. ("Wandless" is my favorite H/D fanfic, the first I ever read so it was pleasing to see it among your choices.)

If there is one major quibble, it is the egregious spelling, punctuation and grammatical errors that litter your chapters. You say some of your readers have no problems with it. Well, I do. It's difficult and tedious to read a story where words like "your's" are substituted for "yours", "others" for "other's", "you're" for "your" etc. Run-on sentences are wearying and make it difficult to know who is speaking at certain times. Paragraph breaks would be extremely helpful even if they did make a chapter longer and more commas are needed. Seriously!

I thought as the chapters progressed, these problems would be cleared up. Alas, they have not and there's no telling how many more you intend to write so the prospect of more misspellings is not a cheery one.

All in all, excellent work. But please get a beta.

very nice, and well thought out. Can't wait til the next chapter

ok i just sat and read your whole story to date in one shot and it's now 4:30 in the morning.
the first coherent thought to go through my head was "OMG! I love this and want more!"
so keep up the great work and if you have an email posting let me know at serpensortia06@gmail.com
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oh so as i can tell you like helpful comments...
i noticed that when harry told sev and remus what his parents told him to say you didn't mention what sirius said to pass on.

anyway i loved it and can't wait for more chapters
serpensortia06

The only way? Soooo need chapter 40!!!

This story somehow gets more interesting and more complicated with each chapter. Congrats Vittani, you have once again left your fans eagerly awaiting the next installment. VM

the magic thing was well done WHOOP also i think it's funny atm Sal is acting more like a lion than Godric is lol they like took each other's role XD

anyway hope to see this updated soon i've missed it a lot -hugs-



~ero