rate_review Reviews

good chapter

interesting.. who do you plan to have for the harem?

good chapter

So what happens when they get Harry to their world???

good story

more

i'm very intrigued with the the story and hope you post soon!

First, while there's obviously a lot of people who like it, there's also a lot who don't, so things like mentions of MPREG and the like should probably be mentioned in the coding. Second, this is really, really short. Too short to be a prologue, to short to be a first chapter, and too short to really give anybody a hint of what you're aiming at. Also, paragraphs are really long, and you use a lot of words, but you don't really seem to say anything.

Lots of this /looks/ like it's got potential, but the story really needs to be betaed. Assuming you post anything soon enough for me to remember that I'd reviewed this, I'll keep an eye out, but as it stands, I'm really kinda let down. The codes you'd listed got my hopes up, but this chapter doesn't come through on any of it, and infact was very disappointing.


Later

This is shaping up to be a really great story.

Very interesting and intriguing beginning! I am very much looking forward to reading more. Thank you. If you want to discuss ideas or something you are welcome to email me :)

xxxx Aria-Chan