rate_review Reviews

I absolutely loved the story and the writing. i am looking forward to your next piece of work.

good story, I liked it a lot, as for anyone who does not like it, tell them to stuff it

I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?

you must admit however it is highly amusing seeing people review on work the ovbiously dont grasp the consept of understanding.

p.s i liked ur style its not done being developed in my opion but uv got one hell of a start on it

HOT!

Nice little fic, always good to find a nice simple Harry/Hermione PWP story.

I'm not going to say anything about the slightly energetic first time for either of them becuase as you said you did warn us and its our choice whether or not to read the story or not. Plus I know how annoying it can be when people don't read your notes one of my stories has a Female Blaise in it which I warned people about in my notes but people just refuse to read them and of course felt the need to correct me in them.

Nice fic, I look forward to reading more Harry/Hermione from you.

GuardianOfLight

Hey Ignore what some of these idiots who are saying they are giving CONSTRUCTIVE criticisim
...cough cough...BULLSHIT..cough cough!!!! I Think you're a great writer! I liked your story and the plot is awesome! hope to see more from you in the future!

I have no problems and PWP's. That's why I'm at this site: I don't particularly care if the characters are OOC or not. I think you take your writing a little too seriously, judging by your Author's notes. Sometimes people will not like your fic: just ignore them and move on.

I thought this was pretty good. The semi-plot was a good way to get harry in Hermione's house, and sex was pretty cool. Some of your metaphor's could've been better (shimmying is wobbling or vibrating and, while it sounds interesting, I don't think that's what you were aiming for) but they don't distract from the sex. I enjoyed it, so there's no problem with what you wrote. Try to expand with more foreplay: Harry didn't play with Hermione's mounds as much as he seemed to want to.

I don't come to this site expecting to see anyone in-character. If they were, there wouldn't be any adult fan fiction. I'm just glad that you're willing to admit that yours are OOC. I enjoyed your little piece of smut just fine.

Well, I thought you story was great, no matter what all of the other reviewers said.
Writing is hard work, and I am glad that you took the time to write it. I appreciated it!!! :)
And I think it would take a lot of guts to post anything on the internet, I myself would never post what I write on the internet. Gosh... if my parents found out if I wrote something like this. Yikes!
So thanks for the amazing story! Keep up the good work! And don't let a couple of stupid obnoxious reviewers let you down! :)

I would like to say that I personally enjoyed your story. But I also have to agree that it was a little overdone. Everything was too... described. Don't get me wrong, I like adjectives as much as the next girl, but the extent of your descriptiveness left nothing to the imagintion. This isn't always a good thing, especially in smut because then it comes off as cheesy and forced. This is just a suggestion, mind you. I'm just offering constructive criticism in the truest sense of the term; my intention is not to offend you. I can tell you're a good writer, but it seems that your descriptiveness overshadows the way the story flows. There's so much to describe, but simple is ALWAYS best.