AFF Fiction Portal

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for Unwanted

by Marti

person naya
schedule October 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I look forward to your return, and wish your son well.
person cateye
schedule October 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Thi is starting out to be a very good story,you've put alot of thought in ot so far and have really got Hermione going through all the thoughts and fellings of having a bad experience.I just hope Harry and Ron keep playing nice. I can't wait for more!
person Barbara
schedule October 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Great story. What did Dumbledore mean when he was telling Severus that heSeverus) knew from experience and not to have Hermione descend into darkness like he did???
person cat
schedule October 22, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I like the start, but could you please change the format, it is diffcult to read. Other than that I like it, it would be nice to get a bit more background on the situation but keep it up.
person Akasha
schedule October 22, 2006 at 12:00 AM
interesting....very interesting. id like to see where this goes! please keep on keepin on!
person Red Writing Hood
schedule October 22, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This seems to be the start of a good story, but it's very difficult to read. You really need to go in and edit the paragraphs. It reads like a poem structure. The sentences need to connect with the previous ones. Any way...its a good start.

Red