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October 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Great story! While this story is in the same genre as HSSHSH, it seems to have a completely different plot line. I don
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October 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Oh Yes!! Please continue this story. What a great start.
I did some thinking about it since I read it two days ago and I really think you shouldn't jump too far ahead yet. I believe Severus will have to learn that he can not simply 'heal' Harry by sunddenly giving him all the freedom he has never had so far. So I rather think that he will have to learn to actually become his master so as not to destroy what little personality is left of young Harry (especially since he is very focused and dependant on a master).
Harry will have to learn the reason for his existence isn't just for other people's pleasure and I would like to see his struggle, angst and the development of trust and happyness.
I for my part would also very much like to see the development of their relationship to a healthy D/s one which will probably take more time and even more discussions than just telling Harry everything he had experienced so far was simply wrong and he should become independent now (something I very much doupt he would be able to become in a very long time, if ever)
I am also quite curious what place in school and between his peers you intent for him to have.
I usually find it very, very boring and frankly quite annoying when authors retell the whole Voldemort background story that happend throughout the years. Depending on how much Voldemort -involvement you plan I think you should maybe rather mention whatever canon you want to keep rather than repeating all the actions.
Once it becomes clear Severus and Harry have come to some mutual understanding and have found their place in each other's lifes, I think you could skip through years (or parts there of) and pause again at points where bigger changes in their relationship take place (such as Harry becoming aware of his own sexuality) before school ends and the two of them can go off to new adventures.
Whatever you decide, just please keep going! I would really hate to see such good potential go to waste by abondonning this absolutely great start of a promissing story!!!
I did some thinking about it since I read it two days ago and I really think you shouldn't jump too far ahead yet. I believe Severus will have to learn that he can not simply 'heal' Harry by sunddenly giving him all the freedom he has never had so far. So I rather think that he will have to learn to actually become his master so as not to destroy what little personality is left of young Harry (especially since he is very focused and dependant on a master).
Harry will have to learn the reason for his existence isn't just for other people's pleasure and I would like to see his struggle, angst and the development of trust and happyness.
I for my part would also very much like to see the development of their relationship to a healthy D/s one which will probably take more time and even more discussions than just telling Harry everything he had experienced so far was simply wrong and he should become independent now (something I very much doupt he would be able to become in a very long time, if ever)
I am also quite curious what place in school and between his peers you intent for him to have.
I usually find it very, very boring and frankly quite annoying when authors retell the whole Voldemort background story that happend throughout the years. Depending on how much Voldemort -involvement you plan I think you should maybe rather mention whatever canon you want to keep rather than repeating all the actions.
Once it becomes clear Severus and Harry have come to some mutual understanding and have found their place in each other's lifes, I think you could skip through years (or parts there of) and pause again at points where bigger changes in their relationship take place (such as Harry becoming aware of his own sexuality) before school ends and the two of them can go off to new adventures.
Whatever you decide, just please keep going! I would really hate to see such good potential go to waste by abondonning this absolutely great start of a promissing story!!!
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October 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Another very nice chapter. I like how you've made Harry interact with everyone in the story and how Severus is being nice, but not too nice. I really cannot wait to read the next chapter!!!
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October 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Damn that was fast lol. And very good. I didn't expect another update until at least a week from now lol. Cant wait to for the next update. You certainly sped throught that school year, but you did it without making it seem like there were missing pieces. I'm curious to know if Ron will actually befriend Harry and if you plan on sticking to the books, even if it's just mostly backgroundish. I look forward to more. You're an excellent writing, and I do believe that finding a beta will only improve your skills even more. Until next time.
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October 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Still a wonderful story. Can't wait to read more!
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October 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Really good start! I like it very much. And I hope you will continue through at least the first few years of Harry at Hogwarts. Because it should be very interesting how Severus helps Harry out of the abused sub mindset. For the first few years at Hogwarts I can't imagine Severus pursuit a sexual relationship with Harry. I could imagine Severus at first being something oif a father figure for Harry before eventually the relationship turns into a sexual one when Harry is older.
I don't think you should follow the storyline of the books. But a few things would be interesting, like Sirius reaction or the Triwhizardtournament.
I'm looking forward to what will happen when Harry misbehaves however unintentional it may be.
Please update soon!
I don't think you should follow the storyline of the books. But a few things would be interesting, like Sirius reaction or the Triwhizardtournament.
I'm looking forward to what will happen when Harry misbehaves however unintentional it may be.
Please update soon!
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October 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Wonderful! I was so happy to see that you updated so quickly. After only two chapters, I can honestly say that I'm in love with this story. I can't wait until the next update.
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October 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
i really like how you wrote this so far. i also like the story 'how severus spends his summer hols'. it will be good to read something similer to that nature. keep going it's great so far.
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October 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I love it! Can't wait to read more! Please update soon! Please oh please!
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October 3, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I like the fic but I really can't imagine know how severus could come out as the sub, not that I wouldn't like it.