rate_review Reviews

It's a great story. Just don't read it after the other time fics, you will remember to much and not enjoy it as much.

I really like the surmise, but its a bit unbeilable, in that Harry & Tonks have not gone to rescue their families.  They know where they are, is Harry still Head of House Black?  If so should be able to do what is neccessary!

OK, so the blacks can't be followed.  Stupid is as stupid does.  Jamie will always be a hostage, no schooling.  So why no rings for them, for the others to portkey to?

Well, this was interesting, the original author's version was absolutly great and followed a detailed story and I couldn't tear away from it even if I wanted to. There clearly had to be a second author who obviously didn't like the original version for some reason like keeping May and Jane as Ron's slaves, keeping Pansy Parkinson and Millicent Bullstrood alive when they committed suicide earlier, not to mention having Ron say, "I deserved this." when he got stabbed, if he was a dark wizard why did he say that, I couldn't picture Voldemort, Malfoy, or Grindlewald saying that and they were dark wizards and in fact Grindlewald had somewhat of a change of heart when he refused to tell Voldemort where the elder wand was but he was still a dick in the end. I didn't like the fact that this author tried making Ron a villain when he easily could've done the same with Malfoy and make him the main villain. I also honestly wanted to like Yukio and her sisters but they rarely show up after Ron is freed from the corruption that they really aren't needed, and Mariko is there just to be Harry's foil to finding his mother and killing Regulus that she isn't really needed, Peter and Petunia have absolutely no reason being around(it would make just as much sense as adding Vernon, Dudley, and Marge) then there's the Potter's other son and their daughters they aren't really needed either since the son has little to no dialogue and the sisters are there only for Harry to find and for them to get raped. The son's of the serpent was actually a very good plot-point and a good way to write Voldemort back into the story, really I'd love to see the overpowered Harry Potter go up against Voldemort. My conclusions, there had to be two authors, one who wrote most of the chapters with continuity and one who went way off trying to get views for their fanfic, either that or the author forgot what she was doing. Because most authors try to have as much continuity as possible with little errors, the last chapter is highly questionable if this was done by the original author or someone else, like I said by the fact that Millicent and Pansy had killed themselves, and the Potter sisters were already saved and Ron was no longer treating anyone like a slave and was deeply regretful of everything that he's done and wanted to redeem himself. If it is the original author who wrote the last chapter, REREAD THE PREVIOUS CHAPTERS, if it's a second author, READ THE PREVIOUS CHAPTERS. My verdict is a solid 10/10 for the beginning and middle and a 4 out of 10 for the end, the end could probably work for another fanfic but here it's out of place, if SelenePotter wanted to add herself why didn't she make herself one of Harry's sisters? Remember, I'm not trying to start a flame war I'm just giving my opinion and my opinion is in the Nostalgia critic's words, "Acts 1 and 2 are where this shines, the 3rd act doesn't ruin it, just has too many continuity errors." I feel this could've been a perfect Harry Potter Harem fic but it was horrible after that review chapter, I mean it went from that, to the previous storyline then went to the bs storyline that had continuity errors all over the place.

I know you wrote this a few years ago but I enjoyed reading it.I think your a good writer and I will enjoy reading your other works of art.

I can't wait to read the number 2!!!
Please write soon

This is the one part of the story that I do not like. They are going to make it a law that it is illegal to intermarry inside your own family. I never liked the idea of telling people that they cannot marry someone who they actually love no matter who is it. That is just wrong, period and done with.

The next chapter should have people protesting this law, and pointing out that it is not the right of Harry Potter, his family or anyone else for that matter to tell people who they can and cannot marry.

wow ... please please please please please please please please please please please more

angel

Lol great. cant wait for number 2.

nice i'm ready for the next instalment.