rate_review Reviews

omg! UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (*thinks:* "not my business" hmph. idiot. lol) can't wait

this is getting real good. i wonder if Amy will come looking for a fight now. please post again soon.

DAMMIT HERMIONE STOP BEING SO STUBBORN!! there i said for him lol. I really hope she opens her eyes to the situation. That was pretty convienient, the two of them catching mione and severus.

on a side note, Lisa, that is actually a really good idea, lol. Viktor and Amy are perfect for each other. She doesn't want kids, he can't make them. He wants a beautiful woman, she is well....eh, some might say so. Plus he is rich and famous, so that works out perfectly for her lol. They would be a good match lol

Uh oooh. Did Amy catch them, or is she just yelling at Corrin?

Oh noes! :X

Oh goody, goody, goody! I love it. Amy caught them! Yay! Update soon please.

Very cute story. I like your portrayal of Snape as he slowly realizes how much he is missing out on the relationship with his daughter. Now for the criticism. Grammar,Grammar, Grammar. Please review your use of apostrophes. Apostrophe S or on occassion S apostrophe is almost always used for possession not for creating plurals. An example Hermione referred to dinner with the Krums'. By using the apostrophe, you indicate possession of something by the Krums. Multiple Krum people are Krums. Ok, that didn't come out the best but given your description of thm, I'll keep it. Please note the word there "I'll" contraction for I will'; you used this for the word ill. Also, check for homonyms such as there and their ( I think is was Snape thinking about mothers wanting to care for their children. Please get a beta to review.

Hello Again, I am quite enjoying the story but think you are rushing and find Hermione and Severus a bit ooc. I really don't believe that Severus would go home and drink and hit on someone right after finding out that his daughter has been poisoned. Where is the snarky, in control Potions Master. Wouldn't he have asked the healer for details on the poison, asked what antidote potions were to be administered even going so far as to check them out himself? I just don't think he would be so passive. It is clear that you know the word too but often you slip and use to instead. TOO- also or a lot of something. In sentence, chpt 6, I think, you describe Hermione of being excepting of Viktor instead of accepting. You also have a tendency to break up compound words such every where. In addition, you misspell Apparating throughout the story. Please review proper usage of apostrophes. It seems hit or miss. Corrin's room would be correct showing the room belongs to Corrin. The only times it shold go outside the S is if the name ends with an S such as Severus' or if something belongs to more than one person with the same name such as the Krums' lousy attitude (More than one Krum so an s at the end and the apostrophe after that to show the attitude belongs to all of them.) I know this sounds like I am harping, but it is these details that make it easier for the reader to understand the story and your meaning and honeslty, many readers will turn away from a story ( often missing some great plots) just because they get to distracted with the poor grammar. There is an unspoken, and often incorrect, assumption that if the grammar an spelling are so bad and that an author did not take the time to attnend to detail, then the storyline, too, will show the same lack of attention.

Oh la la, I am loving this! Keep going!