rate_review Reviews

Well, at least this isn't updating anymore. I mean, you have Harry gaining all these power-ups, all these allies, OCs out the ying-yang, DEM-de-aging for Bella and Narcissa and Dumbledore doesn't seem to want to just straight up attack Harry yet..."weaker" students do it every chapter and Harry is ALWAYS being knocked near unconscious while his girls are ALWAYS coming close to being raped, every chapter.

When you re-write this entire thing, because trust me that is what you are going to have to do, make a decion
1) Harry is OP
2) Harry is NOT OP.

ie. you don't pick option 1 and then have OP!Harry being knocked around by a weak opponent, especially when he knows the attack is coming.
Also, drop all the near rape shit. If you're going to put rape in your fics don't completely saturate the fic with it.

Bloody hell, this is terrible.

seems really thrown together, not my taste

I like this story but I havent read chap 18 yet

the reason no one seems to care that you made susan a slave is that she had to agree to it. so for the most part it is looked at more like her being his wife most likely.

harry susan sex scene i liked and adding gabby as one of harry's girl's would make me happy. as far as molly and ron go have arthur disown and disinherit them so they lose thier weasley family magic and the right to call themselves weasley. an before you tell me molly is a prewitt one reason to marry purebloods could be that the family magic is strong and split among all members even those who marry into the family. so when molly married arthur she got a magic powerboost an the older the family the greater the powerboost. which is why harry survived the killing curse, he was the last potter an thereby holding all the potter family magic in him. an tom in a moment of stupid forgot that little fact.

i say the brotherhood is not good or evil but only out to protect themselves. much as the so-called light and so-called dark and purebloods. they have banned together over many years with the sole goal of self protection. they all started out as weeker families hundreds if not thousands of years ago. you could even have them have started out as forced muggleborn slaves who fought and won feedom. an if you put this fight 3 or 4 thousand years ago then the blacks could have been one of those families.

so my are chapter's 14 and 15 the same? as far as fred and george save them and have harry wipe out a large group of deatheaters to end up forcing the dark lord to show up at more of the attacks to protect his weak fools he calls followers. it would also be nice to find out that yes diagon alley got wiped out but it also cost tommy boy almost every one of the death eaters that went on the mission.

there should be very little problem attacking this base since most of the smarter deatheaters will be able to get out of guard duty. so all you really have are a bunch of low level nobodies to fight. an yes i know they will put their best here for when potter comes to free his friends. you get in and you get out while using a few hundred pounds of c4 exsplosive to level the place. or a spell that produces propane gas and a fire curse. as far as battles go use low level transfiguration to change a knut into something larger to block the curses. the deatheaters will try to overpower you quickly so that they can use a few powerful curses with no need to worry about how much power it is costing them. now since there are likely a bunch of upper level deatheaters at the base for when harry attacks it then that should put a big hurt into the dark lords forces when they are wiped out.

so where are these dark curses everyone has learned? yes i do like the fact these fights are not just a simple walk in the park to win. from what i have read so far this brotherhood of evil sounds like magneto and his bunch from the x-men with wands. i mean you had tonks use a disarming spell and a stunner against some super mutant werewolf. an yes i know you did not use dark curses because you needed the members of the brotherhood to live threw the fight. i still think you could have had tonks do more damage to them then she did.

i think harry should use the book to take everyone out voldimort, the order, dumbledore and the brotherhood. what is the point in putting the book into the story if you are not going to use it. an before you tell me that doing this would make harry no different then voldimort you are wrong. everyone harry is taking out are part of this war, they are not innocents sitting at home knitting socks they are troops in a war for one side or the other. an in war leaders have to take lives if the want to win.