rate_review Reviews

good chapter

NOT HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I like it. Please update soon.

i love the story and hope to read more of it soon so hurry with more please

awwww that was great ... i hope mione will be there for him and will he find out who is the father ... please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please update soon i would love to read more ... later for now

angel

Hey That Wasn't Such A Long Wait *Note the Sarcastic Voice*
Well Great to Have you update Again.

verry interesting and the Idea of Snape as a caring father is sweet hope to see more soon

Great chapter. I was sooooo incredibly happy that you updated. Keep up the good work.

take you time can't wait for the next chapter.

Your chapters are really very short but I am enjoying this and would like to see more. In the interests of helping other writers to improve, I would suggest that the area you need to concentrate on is emotions. You need to create a clear idea in your mind of how characters feel and react in situations (and alone) and practice weaving their emotions into the byplay of the plot. For example; how would someone react to being forcibly kissed shortly after being raped? Then, how would your version of Harry react specifically. Then you need to weave those emotions into the speach and action. If you don't like how you need the characters to behave then you need to take a look at the plot; if you don't want it to be angsty then it is best to leave out the rape, beating would be enough to run away anyway etc. I hope that helps. smiles, Akinaria x