schedule
October 1, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Excellent sense of drama, good sexual tension, natural dialogue. She's just as good a storyteller as she was in her earlier stories, but the new improved spelling is a blessing. There were very few mistakes in this story, so reading it was more enjoyable and I rarely had to skid to a halt to puzzle out some bizarre word choice.
constructive criticism
"baited breath" What you mean is bated, as in abated, not baited as in fishing worms or minnows http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=bated
"hair brain scheme" [hare brain, like a rabbit] This is used in many of your fics
"legitimate" is probably something Microsoft Spellcheck is suggesting when you want legilimens
ch 33 "the eldest Weasley" [it's really Bill, not Charlie]. In ch. 35, you correctly state that Bill is the eldest.
root should be rut http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=rut
"aw" should be awe in all of your stories
ch 45 his patience beginning to ware thin [wear]
ch 50 you have the dark mark on Snape's right arm instead of his left
ch 51 hampster should not have a P in it
ch 52
constructive criticism
"baited breath" What you mean is bated, as in abated, not baited as in fishing worms or minnows http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=bated
"hair brain scheme" [hare brain, like a rabbit] This is used in many of your fics
"legitimate" is probably something Microsoft Spellcheck is suggesting when you want legilimens
ch 33 "the eldest Weasley" [it's really Bill, not Charlie]. In ch. 35, you correctly state that Bill is the eldest.
root should be rut http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=rut
"aw" should be awe in all of your stories
ch 45 his patience beginning to ware thin [wear]
ch 50 you have the dark mark on Snape's right arm instead of his left
ch 51 hampster should not have a P in it
ch 52
schedule
July 29, 2008 at 12:00 AM
*sniff* That was a sad ending. The changing of the world I mean.. *sniffs again* But the story, as all your others, was perfect.
schedule
July 22, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I am puzzled at what Severus actually did to Draco in a previous chapter. It -sort of- gave the impression he killed him , but here Draco is again, well enough to petition to marry Snape. The other thing I am confused by is Harry's reaction to whatever it was that was done to Draco - why would that suddenly make him fall out of love with Severus. Colour me confused.
schedule
July 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I'm certainly enjoying it so far. It is starting to get into the story now and so more exciting now and so I was tempted not to take the time to review but to hurry on to the next chapter - but my conscience won out this time. Thanks for what promises to be an enjoyable read (despite your spelling being a bit off at times LOL)
schedule
July 21, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hi,
This fic is rivetting! Great stuff!
BTW your web blog seems to have disappeared and none of your WIPs seem to have been updated for a while. I hope you are okay?
This fic is rivetting! Great stuff!
BTW your web blog seems to have disappeared and none of your WIPs seem to have been updated for a while. I hope you are okay?
schedule
July 7, 2008 at 12:00 AM
The Friday Boy, Chapter 2
To "pay (not pray) homage to the porcelain god" refers specifically to getting on your knees in front of the toilet and bowing over in order to throw up, usually after drinking too much alcohol.
To "pay (not pray) homage to the porcelain god" refers specifically to getting on your knees in front of the toilet and bowing over in order to throw up, usually after drinking too much alcohol.
schedule
April 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
For some reason, Harry having to cool himself off by taking a cold shower in his clothes, and then saying "cunt" while dripping wet and frustrated... I'm feeling a little overheated at the imagery... ^-^
schedule
April 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
This is the fourth fic of yours I've read and while they're all very good, this one is by far my favorite. Seriously. It's hot and sweet without making me go into a diabetic coma, and something about the way you portray the characters this time is wonderfully intriguing.
schedule
March 23, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Hi!
I've just read this story in more or less one sitting. I just *had* to keep reading to find out what was going to happen next. The angst was tangible...a veritable rollercoaster of emotions. It made me cry and laugh, literally. Well done! I really liked that Harry was portrayed as a 16-17 year old boy just on the verge of adulthood. His curiosity was endearing and maddening, and his temper was as wild as ever. Very in character. Some authors assign a lot of emotions and reactions to him that are just a little too grown up or too refined than they should be for a teenager, even one that has seen as much as Harry has. One of my only criticisms is that the time-shifting element was drop into the story out of the blue. A nice plot device to bring everything together and give us a happy ending (I do love happpy endings after all that angst) but it felt really contrived with no hints of it earlier in the story. The bond was explained throughout the story, yes, but the insertion of the time travel aspect was abrupt. Also, there were several grammar errors throughout the chapters but the plot and the overall writing more than made up for the minor annoyance so it was easier than it usually is for me to overlook them. Thanks for sharing. Overall it was brilliant! I'm looking forward to reading some of your other stories. Take care and may the muses be kind to you.
TC
I've just read this story in more or less one sitting. I just *had* to keep reading to find out what was going to happen next. The angst was tangible...a veritable rollercoaster of emotions. It made me cry and laugh, literally. Well done! I really liked that Harry was portrayed as a 16-17 year old boy just on the verge of adulthood. His curiosity was endearing and maddening, and his temper was as wild as ever. Very in character. Some authors assign a lot of emotions and reactions to him that are just a little too grown up or too refined than they should be for a teenager, even one that has seen as much as Harry has. One of my only criticisms is that the time-shifting element was drop into the story out of the blue. A nice plot device to bring everything together and give us a happy ending (I do love happpy endings after all that angst) but it felt really contrived with no hints of it earlier in the story. The bond was explained throughout the story, yes, but the insertion of the time travel aspect was abrupt. Also, there were several grammar errors throughout the chapters but the plot and the overall writing more than made up for the minor annoyance so it was easier than it usually is for me to overlook them. Thanks for sharing. Overall it was brilliant! I'm looking forward to reading some of your other stories. Take care and may the muses be kind to you.
TC
schedule
March 23, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I forgot to mention..."alchemist of pain" is an awesome turn of phrase and a *perfect* description of what Snape does for Riddle in your story.