AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Lucid Consequences

by DeityOfDeath

person jade
schedule November 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I just finished the third chapter. I wanted to say that the idea is interesting, as are the events in the story, but the way you keep switching between present and past tense is distracting. So are the run-on sentences. It seems like the action is just glossed over, no detail, because it's all in one sentence. Anyway, keep writing and practicing, because you really do have good ideas.
person Honey
schedule November 22, 2006 at 12:00 AM
i love it
hope the next one is a girl and they name it Sakura (cherry blossom)
any way im watching to see when you update next ^_^
person telvia
schedule November 19, 2006 at 12:00 AM
What a lovely concept. I realy can't wait to see who the father is. And I love how you write Harry. Superb, great job for your first fic.
person greenwizard
schedule November 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Ok, I'm at chapter 20 now. I'm a little confused about something though. Towards the beginning Charlie is with Fleur then he's with Draco.... I remember that because in the book Bill is engaged to Fleur.
person greenwizard
schedule October 19, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I wanted to drop a quick note to say I'm enjoying your story. I don't normally go for first person, but this one intrigued me. I noticed a few spelling problems and a few places where words were missing. Other than that, great job!
person miku
schedule September 25, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This s brilliant! Well done! Can't wait to see how Harry is going to juggle kids and a job. xx
person RentaiKitten
schedule September 23, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Harry defiles Draco's shoes - that's rich! Love it! Sorry I haven't been keeping tabs on this one - last time I had checked, there were only three chapters for the longest time, then BOOM! there are 20+. Glad to see it! Now - back to the story....
person Anon
schedule September 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
umm.. i thought harry wasnt a hemaphrodite but at the beginning of the giving birth chapter you said he was... it just confused me...
person angel
schedule September 20, 2006 at 12:00 AM
wow that was great i love it .. please please please update soon i would love to read more ... later for now

angel
person Miss missed
schedule September 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Plez update this story !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!