rate_review Reviews

Wow, that was a great trio fic, very hot!

Um...Miss Paige...First, may I state that I really like this story. However, there were a some mistakes that I found in the first chapter that made it difficult to read.

They are:

The sentence "Friends and were chatting over coffee..." Friends and what? Also, there should be an "and" between "Friends and ? were chatting over coffee" and "young children were playing while their parents ate.", cutting out the comma, of course. The bit of sentence that goes "...but none more than Harry Potter who had dealt the final blow that ended Voldermort

Very very hot and sexy, well written too.

Hey,
I liked the first chapter, and did notice a couple of errors, though definately not
enough to make reading difficult.( But then it's pretty late here, so maybe I just didn't see them. )

"Friends and were chatting over coffee" shouldn't have the "and".

"Being as famous as they are, each one had a gaggle of fans." You're using different tenses here, should be
"Being as famous as they were, each one had a gaggle of fans."

"Each of the trio had an apartment in the city for such public purposes, and to entertain their friends and family,
and not long after Voldermort

Reading the reviews you posted I have to agree.

Too many commas and they are used incorrectly. One paragraph was a single very long sentence.

In the second paragraph Hermione should know "she" holds or held their hearts, not her.

Interjections used incorrectly.

Instantly misspelled.

Capitilization used in the middle of a sentence improperly.

None of these lessen the value of your creativity. It just makes it difficult to read.

I wanted to let you know since you had gone to the trouble of asking where the troubles were.

This story really does have potential and i'm definitely intrigued so far. However you've missed a word somewhere in the first couple of paragraphs "Friends and were" is how you have it now. There are a few other grammatical mistakes that could be caught by a beta or a grammar check in any of the composition software. One other one i caught was Hermione is "perusing" something when you mean pursuing. Spellcheck wouldn't pick it up because they're both words.

Hope this helps! Can't wait to read more!
~a

Let me say that I was not bothered by the errors in the story. However, you did ask, so I did a quick beta of the chapter since it was so short. I found 5 errors, syntax, punctuation, spelling and tense. I don't find them glaring, but they are there. I will send the chapter to your e-mail. You should look for a beta. I beta for Donavon and Petalsoft. Good luck.

You go girl! - assuming you are a girl.....

I was so disappointed that it wasn't a new chapter, but I see where your frustration is coming from. Don't let em get ya down. I like your fics.

Plz update soon!

ok, i had already read this, but reread it to look for the errors people were talking about. the only spelling error i saw was you accidently put instabtly instead of instantly once. grammar wasn't bad, but maybe a few of the sentences were too long. maybe rewording a few of the longer sentences would take care of their complaints. other than that, i think you're doing a pretty good job, and i intend to keep reading your posts.

for those that don't know, perusing means reading.