rate_review Reviews

Can't wait for Hermione to put those two in their place. Gonna be hard to get Draco to go public though.

hahahahaahha... i likee da chappieee... needa update more...

continue this please!

I have lots of concrit for you. I hope it helps. I adore your concept of Hermione wanting to change her look and be noticed by men as a woman instead of one of the guys. It's very plausible in canon, and I want to see a story exploring that. I love the idea that the boys would still ignore her, but Draco would notice her (the forbidden fruit). It would have helpful if we had seen prior situations that made her feel that she needed a big change, (you know- reactions, ignoring, and even thoughtless insults.) Something that would drive her to such drastic measures. If we knew where her former romantic attachments were aligned, then perhaps we could have felt some of her pain. (she has to have had a crush on SOMEONE by now.) Draco fighting his attaction should be addressed, too. Having dreams about your object of desire is a great way to have your subconscious tell you something. We also need a convincing bridge to Hermione's attraction to Draco. We want to hear her thoughts and feelings as they come. They need to be developed, and you have a good start with the tutoring. Just don't waste the opportunity to use that for lots of interaction, and maybe explore how they get along during tutoring as opposed to the rest of their classes. And I have a teeny nitpick. They seem to be going to school in a public school in America so far. Hermione calls the boys 'jerks' and she visited the mall. Maybe someone could britpick for you, and your story will be even better.

Good start!
I can't wait to read more!

it's a good plotline, and a pretty good start, but you really want to elaborate of feelings and emotions and be descriptive about the situations etc. especially draco's emotions towards hermione. you can't jsut have him keep on describing her as 'hott.' that doesn't keep the reader interested. if anything, come up with a long list of adjectives you want to use to describe hermione and dracot o each other, and use those. try not to repeat the same ones too much. Also hermione's character is more passive -aggressive than you've made her. For example, she wouldn't be DEMANDING her parents to take her shopping, but (this part was fine) she would be demanding of Harry and Ron. Same goes for Draco. He's got to have a better reaction to finding out that it's hermione than he does. it's a good story, and if you need any help, you can always e-mail me. KEEP IT UP!

intresting bet haha

Draco's not just gonna give up that easy is he? Of course not!

im loving and i cant wait to see where its gonna go.
Im interested to see how which direction your going to take Draco's character in, because some people make him go all squeeky clean, and other people he's really freaky and mean. Granted both can be good, but can get a little far fetched, you know what i mean?

But yeah, am loving this.

Keep writing.

Kisses

It is a really cool story.I am kind of surprised that hermione decided to talk to harry and ron.I like the whole change of hermione.She is so cool.Also is hermione in love with harry and ron?Keep on writing .I can't wait until your next entry.