rate_review Reviews

Never thought I'd say it, but I definately have a new favorite!!!! This fic made me cry when Draco broke down.....what an amazing peice you have written!!!! I look forward to reading more!!!

OMG!!!!
this chapter was so romantic!
can't wait for an update!!!!!!

awww that is soooo sweet!!

I loved the way they are together.

Wonderful! I can't wait for chapter 11!

Oh I can't wait for 11b. Holy moly! Must have more!

I have just sat and read all three new chapters and I truly think they get better each time. As for your dialogue, I saw no problems with it, in fact I am a bit envious. My weakest area is also dialogue, so I wind up tinkering a LOT with mine and it never seems right to me. Yours, on the other hand, simply flows and that\'s a good deal. This is an emotional and touching piece so far and that bit with Snape - very funny. Snape has always been a source of mystery to me and I like the allusions to Lily and all that you made. I think it would definitely be an angle (or subplot) worth exploring and I hope you do so. I will anxiously be awaiting your next chapter. :)

3 in the morning! What am I doing reading this?!? lol. Good job! I'm really enjoying this story.

Heehee... you weren't kidding, dialogue is a weakness with you! The best advice I can give is don't force it. Read it to yourself or speak it as you write it for all dialogue IS is speech. On paper. So it's gotta flow with word usage, slang, breathing patterns (if you pause where something is said, comma.) Our speech tends to be casual in word usage, though not uneducated or lazy. (Unless you've just been shagged through the mattress...) Another thing that I've got problems with as well, is don't repeat yourself. In a sentence or a paragraph, doesn't matter, just tighten up everything that's important and discard anything that is not, such as over dramatic/flowery lingo & phrasing. Use less rather than more words to describe something. This way the effect becomes more potent, and brings the message home like a kick to the groin. You describe one HELL of a peripheral sex scene so just leak that fluidity into their verbal interaction & then see what happens!!

Don't mind my English teacher mode!!!

(Hides under desk...)

^.--

That was SOO sweet!!! I can't wait to see how they handle their relationship in public and what Snape is going to do. =o)