rate_review Reviews

great update

What a start ! I 'd love to read more.

love this story
please update soon

I loved it! This sounds like it's going to be very halariouse and original! I'm even going to put it on my Favorit list! PLEASE continue!

Hey I get first review!! I love it so far, and I equally love the plot for this story so far! Just a couple of things.....your story reads.....I really don't know how to describe it........maybe sort of rushed? Slow down a little, and give a little more details. You also need to break-up your paragraphs a little bit more.....they kinda run together.

Your grasp of English is very good, but you need to watch your phrasing a little.....your sentenses run together a little. Other than that, a very good start! I can tell, that I will really enjoy this story!! Please update soon!!

**Your slight mistakes could be handled by a Beta Reader, and I offer my help...if you wish. Please contact me at the above e-mail address, if you interested**

Darkladyd

Sorry, I have no idea why my e-mail address did not show up before. Here it is...

darkladyd2003@yahoo.com

Darkladyd

Get a beta reader.

oooo, the sexual tension!!
Can't wait for more
chow for now!

hello! if you're looking for a beta, i'd be more than willing to take up the task. my email is mefoster@anderson.edu.

Great start, looking forward to the next chap.....