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April 5, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Ok for starters this is not intended to be a flame. I really liked the sound of your story idea .. but you lost me in the first paragraph, simply because it was too disjointed due to the switching of tenses. One sentence You are telling the story in 3rd person, the next its first person. This ruins the flow of the text. Perhaps if you did some editing, or got someone to do this for you then you could improve on this. I'm sorry if this sounded mean .. but I am all for contructive criticism .. I believe it is how we grow and learn. I hope you can see what I am trying to say.
-Laivine
-Laivine
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September 21, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
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July 10, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
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January 19, 2006 at 12:00 AM
if you dont update this story i wil have to kill u this is fantastic and i need to know what happens so u beta upstae asap or i will bee soooo upset plz upsdate sson plz this is fantastic
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January 12, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Great start I hope you update soon I so want to read what happens next.
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January 6, 2006 at 12:00 AM
why have you only posted one chapter? *whining* Just my bad luck. Never thougt the thought of a threesome with blaise could be so good. I want mooooore!
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January 1, 2006 at 12:00 AM
please write more soon!
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December 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
no don't stop there.
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December 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
ooooo update sooon!
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December 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
it's a good start but you need to get a beta. there are way too many errors. update soon.