rate_review Reviews

Alsome dude! or Dudet whatever, nice begining!
Not bad I didn't see any spelling mistakes.

You really need a beta, there are lots of mistakes for example "closed" instead of "closet" in the second chapter. Choose a tense, wether its past or present--don't jump between the two. Your story is very difficult to read because both are constantly mixed, even with in the same paragraph.

You have a good story idea here, its not original, but its really hard to come up with something original, and I know it takes guts to write something and post if for the rest of the world to read, but you really need to have somebody revise this beforehand.

I hope you keep writing.

ooh this is good! It's funny. I want to know what she says with the veritaserum. more please!