rate_review Reviews

I read the comments by people who would rather kiss your ass than help you become a better writer, and I'm not that sort of person. I am actually a published writer, and I thought that from one writer to another, you'd appreciate knowing that using the word fuck 555 times in a story that isn't even complete is repetitive. I was taken to task once in a critique group (face to face with published authors) who pointed out how many times I had a character "look" and how many times I used the word "was" etc. If you're writing just to have people kiss your ass whether they have any intelligence about writing or not, then fine. But if you want to be a GOOD writer, you will choose your words carefully. I don't think I was being obnoxious at all especially since you ASKED for reviews and said you have a hard shell and didn't mind honest criticisms. As for having "too much time" -- I hope no one thinks I actually counted each of those words. We have a little technology today in MS Word which will count up things like this for you in all of about 3 seconds. What a waste of time, eh? LOL Too bad people really either aren't interested in helping you cultivate your talent or don't know enough to be ABLE to correct you (someone even said they didn't *notice* the cussing. How you can not notice the same word 555 times is beyond me). And even if kids cuss a lot, I don't think I have ever been in the company of anyone, man, woman, boy or girl who cusses as much as your characters do. Finally, for those who seem to think I was "offended" by it and shouldn't read it, how about waking up to the fact that (sorry for the faux pas, Misters Strunk and White!) objections to the use of curse words don't always arise because a person is offended. Perhaps you would be, but I pointed it out because it is boring and repetitive and just plain bad writing. It's also a very lazy way to characterize. I asked someone in passing about it today and he thought that using the word fuck even just 200 times in a story was overkill. He nearly died when I told him it was 555. You obviously have writing talent, and I don't think that you should simply be told that you're perfect and just to ignore good writing rules and guidelines because it "doesn't matter" -- because it DOES matter. If you want to be a mediocre writer, by all means simply soak up the praise you receive here and leave it at that. It's just hilarious how so many people are mad at me for being intelligent and having an informed opinion and for actually caring about you and your writing. Maybe I should be more like the rest of your reviewers who are probably too busy masturbating while reading it to actually pay attention to the art involved.

Shitttttttttttttttt! *Pants and gasp for air* -- Oh, I'll comment more on you LJ where you can reply, but you are seriously killing me. I don't think I've ever read something that left me with just such a sense of dread and anger at what's happening to Hermione. Hurry Draco!!!! Damn.

omg this story is so good. update faster please i cant take the waiting

Wow. I wrote that review with out checking for any mistakes.... and its terrible. Sorry if its hard to read!

The one who counted your cuss words and all that... Um, that's fantastic. I do think she has a point about how repititive the word 'fuck' seems to be in the first several chapters.

BUT:
1) This was said before, and I'll just repeat it. This is AFF.net. We love you because you have a pretty damn decent story. Okay, its beyond decent. I don't know its at the 'publishing' quality, I actually don't care. What I've noticed is the story portrayal is good, the character portrayal is good. A lot of writers on aff.net write only a quick, 'i hate you, oh, now i love you, lets fuck and be happy' story. (No capitalization was intended.) That reviewer has a point, if you want to get better, be willing to recieve the criticism, and think about it before you act on it.
2) This goes with the above. Its AFF.net. That said: Hermione can say fuck as many times as you'd like because any story with HG/DM pairing is going to be OOC, AU and all the other nice little markings people give it. Same goes for Draco. How you choose to portray you characters should remain your own decision. If something has happened to set of Hermione into a swearing binge, okay so be it. I had a swearing binge a few years ago when my parents nearly got divorced, its how I delt with things instead of doing something worse, like drugs sex and rock and roll. (Just kidding.)
3) This goes with the counting of the other 'profanities' ... 22 for shit? (Going off memory here...) So what? That's out of HOW many words in the entire story? So you knock down the 'fuck' count to say, less than 100. Still. There are going to be some profanities said. And I would bet that your story is already 10,000+ words?

So edit it your chapters to appease a few people, but I honestly think you're doing brilliantly. You aren't writing here just to get some practice, you are supposed to be writing for fun too!

This story is electrifying. But you shouldn't make concessions to a few children who can't handle something. EVERYTHING is offensive to someone. This entire website is probably offensive to a considerable number of people. It doesn't matter. Don't make changes for people who don't know what they're talking about. If you wish to have swearing, then by all means...fucking do it. Write true to yourself and don't worry about anything else. And don't forget, everyone is a critic.

Great story!!!!! I cannot wait to read more!!

Yay! Draco to the rescue! Wait... I'm not sure of the quality of rescue he'll provide... well, better than nothing, I guess. Hope. Whatever. Hopefully this mess will straighten up their heads a little bit. Not completely, I'd bet, but maybe make a few things clear...

I apologize for taking so long to review ch. 11, my computer had issues. I really liked this chapter, the ball was everything it had been hyped up to be, though I was sorry that tradition didn't require the heads dancing the opening dance together. In terms of the swearing, honestly, that's the way people talk, especially when emotions run high, it's a pity, but that's how things are. I didn't even notice all the language until you brought it up in you livejournal. The people who are going through and counting how many times you used the "f" word aren't really focusing on your story, so really why would you take their reviews so personally. If you must edit it because it's bugging you then please post that version as an alternative( I don't like reading stories that have had the grit taken out of them.) But, personally, I would rather you put your precious efforts into ch. 12, then going back and editing. That's just my two cents. Plus, if the swearing was really bothersome, you wouldn't have 400+ reviews. A lot of people may have complained about the swearing, but how many haven't?

hi i love ur story but please when u update email me and remind me..thank u!