rate_review Reviews

its a good start, but you might want to think about getting a beta it always helps to have someone to check your work for spelling mistakes.

I like your beginning, but I would suggest you putting more space(paragraphs) between things. I look for the next chapter!

This story seems very rushed thus far, although the premise is a good one, overall. You also really need to work on your spelling. It's a flue network, not a flew network. Draco's father's name is Lucius not Luscious, and Dumbledore requests people's presence not presents. Those are a few of the glaring errors. A beta would be a good thing, particularly with the spelling, but a beta might have some suggestions to slow things down and flesh it out. I was intrigued by the twist you put in Hermione's character, with her parents' attitude, but it wasn't really explored at all. I'd be interested in reading more about it - don't be afraid of detail.

Do we also get a jealous Ron in this story? And I hope Draco gets a peek at her muggle life. Looking forward to their dialog. Please post again soon...but also please break up your paragraphs. Makes for easier reading.