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for Knickers

by firegoddess100

schedule July 30, 2020 at 12:00 AM

Overall, really good.  Brave to take on the "lovers at cross purposes" plot line not once, but three times in one story!  As a reader, I felt like it almost got away from the author once or twice, and that it dragged here and there because it was the same story three times over, but she managed to resolve things appropriately at the end.  Again, the editing in this story was consistently good, which surprised me in a story with this many chapters.  I've read others where the editing has been inconsistent from one chapter to the next.

I don't think of myself as the 'grammar police', and although I'm a Yank, I do recognize that just because we all speak English, it doesn't mean that the Brits, the Yanks, and the Aussies are all going to understand each other, but certain dialects and speaking/writing patterns I find very distracting.  

One that really gets me is when an author wirtes "he was sat", instead of "he was sitting" or "he was seated".  Better than all three would be "he sat", but that's a matter of using active or passive voice.  Either omit the "was", or use the appropriate form of the verb you are combining it with.  It might work on a fan fiction site, but it will never get past a real editor.  And alot of the authors here have the creative potential to produce work that will make to a real editor one day, I think this piece demonstrates that.

 

person Katrin
schedule January 9, 2016 at 12:00 AM
any new chapter? :)
person fodien
schedule February 25, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Great story! I'm enjoying it loads! The Harry and Katie relationship was really interesting.
person Isake
schedule August 22, 2007 at 12:00 AM
YAY!!! This was amazing! The characters and interactions were soooo deep and the whole story was such a big success! Will there be more? PLEASE!!!
schedule August 13, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Oh, you got to be kidding me. 18 chapters and you end it with Hermoine interrupting Harry and Ginny having morning sex. It was an awesome story. Heartwrenchingly beautiful at points and hot at others. Please write me. *offers chocolate chip cookies*
person Wiz
schedule April 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
u just had to stop at wat is possibly the most embarassing part didn't u?
well hurry up and update... i like ur story...
schedule February 4, 2007 at 12:00 AM
I just got done with this fic and I love it. Too bad that you apparently haven't updated in a while and most likely won't.
person Anon
schedule January 7, 2007 at 12:00 AM
when can we expect the next chapter?
person don't have a name
schedule December 18, 2006 at 12:00 AM
OOO goood lord...that will be a dreadful sight. Hermione is probably going to be scarred for life. HAHA.....sorry but this was just histarical. I hope that you update soon because I love this story. Please write the next chapter soon.
person Brittany
schedule November 13, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I loved your fic. Best Harry/Ginny lemon or any kind of fic, I've read in a while.
Keep up the good work.

Brittany
Ai to Heiwa (Love and Peace)