rate_review Reviews

it is comman story. but some paragraph is more described. it is not necessary such as hermione's feeling. i had read adn found that was confuse. but u should try. and i may review yours.

oh come on!!! why do leave EVIL cliffhangers?! I dont know how much more of it I can take!! so PLEASE update soon so I can know what happens!!! I LOVE this story so far!! but the cliffys are REALY hard for me to deal with!! sorry!! I still LIVE the story!! but ya!! um...... till next time!!!

-Hannah

nice! keep writing!

MORE!!!!!!!!!!!

It\'s a really good start. With regards to the length of chapters, if you don\'t have time to write a full-length chapter, just don\'t post yet. I think this could be a great story, but having only a few paragraphs at a time is very jarring and really does break up the story. Readers barely have time to get acclimated to your storyline before it\'s over, so it just isn\'t possible to really get involved with the characters.

Just something to think about. I think it\'s worth taking a little extra time to make sure everything in your writing is exactly the way you want to present it. I will be looking for updates!

I think you have the makings of a really good story. However, there are several spelling or typo mistakes,
it might me best to read through quietly before you post your chapter up. Also I\'m sure the other comment is expected
very short chapters, infact if I\'m honest I felt the two you have posted could have easily been posted as one chapter.

Still I like it, and it\'s your story to do with as you like, will be waiting for an update.
Best wishes

remember that you make me serious. so you must write the story now. thank you

Wow, that was a really great start!!!
I can\'t wait to read what happens next!

heck yeah it\'s short--we need an update!! you could do very well with this, but i can\'t tell yet how it will be. keep writing.

Amazing start, but how about a longer chapter. A great teaser though. It definately wetted my appetite. Please update soon!