AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for The Halloween Ball

by rush22

person Experience My Dreams
schedule November 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
heh . . . Go get her Snape!!!
person Sheila
schedule November 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Keep up the great work!!!! Your definately getting an A+ in my grade book.
person lemonade
schedule November 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I\'m enjoying. Waiting to see what they make of each other at the ball.
schedule November 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Nice chapter. Can\'t wait to read more. I will be looking for your update!

Tiffany
person JTBJAB
schedule November 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Great chapter! Please update again soon!
person sleeper_girl
schedule November 14, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I really like this fic, but I think that you should try to organise your writing more. Your plot is a bit hard to follow because of the frequent memories, and a few times you repeat yourself, once from Hermione\'s point of view and once from Snape\'s, but you say the same things and use the same images in the scenes. Try a little more present tense, and a little more plot work.
person JTBJAB
schedule November 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Glad you didn\'t take my review for a flame - it wasn\'t meant as one. Well done on this chapter and I look forward to reading more!
person Experience My Dreams
schedule November 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I love it!!! I can\'t wait till for the next chapter!!!!
person lovethelab
schedule November 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Wow, I think your first attempt is really very good! I have enjooyed your first two chapters and I am looking forward to reading the rest of your story. Great job!
person Susan
schedule November 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I like the first two chapters very much. You seem to have a slow build in the works, which is always nice to read. I think the flashback worked well in chapter one. The background you gave was just enough to show that this was not \"brand-new sex on legs\" Hermione attempting to shag her Potions Master. I also thought the inclusion of the differences in Muggle attire and Wizarding attire made sense(for her to be a bit nervous). Would be like going shopping in your bathing suit. LOL. I look forward to more chapters. Thanks.