AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for A Christmas Gift

by BeybladeTyKafan

person SnapesPet30
schedule November 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Wow, what a great story! Glad Harry changed Snape\'s mind about leaving.
person darkmoore
schedule November 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I like the idea of your story. Though, I have to admit, there are a few points that don\'t settle well with me. First of all, if I got this right Harry is what...15? So he is clearly underaged. I honestly can\'t see Severus pursue a relationship with a minor, let alone kiss the boy int the halls of Hogwarts. I think Albus wouldn\'t agree to that either. I also don\'t think it is possible to just leave in the middle of term and leave Albus and the school without a Potions teacher. Oh and then there is the fact that Voldemort is still out there... Severus isn\'t at Hogwarts because he finds it so cosy there... You see, even though I do REALLY like the idea behind this story of yours, I find it has some loopholes. Do you have a beta? If not, i suggest you get yourself a capable bra-reader. There are a few... typos and stuff that need work, too. I really don\'t say all those things to discourage you, but to encourage you to go on and get better. Keep going!
person darkmoore
schedule November 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
LOL, sorry, I meant a BETA -reader. Not a bra reader of course. Dunno how this typo happened... Sorry!
person Aisling
schedule November 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
that was awesome... u have got to have another part PLEASE? i luv the rings!
person Hambares
schedule November 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
What a nice story to read first thing in the morning!
person antipyro
schedule November 3, 2005 at 12:00 AM
This was very nice. A cute pre-Christmas gift.

I found it a bit rushed and would have like to see more development of the story line, but overall, nicely done.

I thank you for your fine work.